} Long, long ago, in the land of Regneryblob, there lived a most
} vulture-like prince, and his name was George Shrubbery. And this George
} Shrubbery was not as other men: he was a most sullen and wrathful man,
} and he lusted after the net.suppleness.goddess, but she refused him
} again and again (saying each time that he was a sullen and wrathful
} man), and slipping out of his grasp often and ever and anon. Being
} sullen and wrathful, Shrubbery cried out to the other net.deities for
} help. First he called to Morley, the net.death.god, but Morley was more
} interested in killing Eleanor so that she would be seducible for a
} Then Shrubbery called to John, the net.hat.god, begging him to put such
} a large and amazing hat on Barbara that she could no longer put both
} legs backwards behind her head, for the hat getting in the way, and so
} could no longer elude him by this trick. And John, being the
} net.easily.persuaded.geek, constructed this hat out of handcuffs and
} nematodes and bushes and mice and back problems, and the two of them hid
} out behind the 180-190 GeV cyclotron to wait for Barbara. But, as it
} happened, Jill (the net.inconsistancy.goddess) looked an awful lot like
} Barbara that day, and they stuck the hat on her head instead by mistake.
} This was a problem for a while, until Jill changed her mind again.
} So, in great rage and much unhappiness, he called upon Jocko, the
} net.resume.god. And Jocko, being a kind-hearted soul, vastly modified
} Barbara's resume without telling her, converting her degrees in physical
} education and differential topology into electrical engineering. And it
} was she who designed this protocol, and (as you might expect) she who
} twisted the wires.
} The Oracle has legended. You owe the Oracle a new hat.