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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Unless I'm mistaken, I read something about "subtile humor"; what is > it?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} "Subtile humor" is found in men's restrooms of engineering buildings } at some universities and a few other venues, and is the graffiti of } the Grout Cult.  A graffito in this genre is classically scrawled in } small print in the grout line between two wall tiles.  Examples } include: } } Down and grout } Grout of luck } Tell me a-grout it } Grout Expectations } Grout day in the sunshine } } Variations on this theme can also be seen: } } Grout uber alles (scribbled on the tile below the grout line) } Grout unter alles (same idea, though above the grout line) } } The Patron Saint of the Grout Cult is Sharpius; the Principal Opposer } is Janitorio. } } This is not to be confused with "subtile humour," which would be to } read this response aloud with a British accent in the style of a } documentary. } } You owe the Oracle one complete reading of the dictionary.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> There were these two farmers, Jake and Olle. Jake says to Olle, "So > how are you at math? I need to know something about how to calculate > for my farm." > > Olle replies, "well, I might know a bit. What's the problem?" > > "It's solar insolation. I was thinking I needed to understand the flux > density so I could put up some electric panels. I got all confused > when the fellow at the farm store said I could get 24 square kilowatts > from the panel he was selling." > > "Well, Jake, he's an idiot. There is no such thing as square > kilowatts. I'll bet he thinks that we farmers are ignorant. Iowa > State's got more than just corn. My thesis was the net energy output > of Barnard's Star, but I was really majoring in geophysics, not > astronomy." > > "Oh, I know square kilowatts is wrong. What I was hoping was that we > could sell him a computer program that would compute them for him. > It'd be a simple matter of programming, an SMP. But you don't have > continuity of functions on a computer, because the mathematics is > really all those scaled integers they call floating point." > > "Ah yes, Jake, Floating Point. My girl Hulda and I used to go out > there and swim naked at night, just like our grandparents did back in > Sweden. 'Olle,' she would say, 'Olle, when are we gonna get married?' > Well, I told her there was an Oracle who would answer that question. > She screamed, and jumped in and swam, still naked, to Integer Isle. I > never saw her again." > > "Olle, let's get back to the topic at hand. How can we make the > program look like it's working, even when it's just a fake?" > > So Orrie, I have TWO questions for you here. > > 1. What sort of program should Olle and Jake write? How best to fool >    the foolish salesbeast into buying it? > > 2. Whatever happened to Hulda?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} 1. Forget about fooling the salesman, who knows very well that }    kilowatts are cubic, not square. } } 2. I think Lena got mad enough when she found out about Hulda, }    that Hulda knew what was good for her and never swam back. The }    brothel she managed on that island for many years finally went }    bankrupt due to the low quality of broth they produced. } } You owe the Oracle a design for a complete solar system panel.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Is it true that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Yes, non grovelling supplicant (ahem), it is true.  And to save time } regarding any follow-ups, these are true as well: } } All Twinkies and no exercise makes Jack a fat boy. } All Call Of Duty and no books make Jack an unrounded boy. } All play and no work make Jack a gadabout. } All bone and no flesh make Jack a skeleton. } All right angles and no unequal sides make Jack a square. } All X chromosomes and no Y make Jack a girl. } All skirts and no pants makes Jack a transvestite. } All protoplasm and no cell membranes make Jack a disgusting puddle of }   goo. } All polyester and no cotton make Jack a fashion victim. } All guns and no abortions make Jack a southern American. } All Jack and all not Jack makes Jack part of the superset. } All opinion and no facts makes Jack ripe for ridicule. } All lefts and no rights make it take a really long time for Jack to }   drive home. } All his dad's Playboy collection and no one else at home makes Jack }   lock himself if the bathroom for a while. } All toasters and no pythagorean theorems make Jack wonder what the fuck }   is going on. } All filibuster and no feasible ideas makes Jack a GOP Congressman. } All meat and no vegetables make Jack irregular. } All self esteem and no humility makes Jack a dick. } } You owe the Oracle a set of lawn darts.  No, not the "safe" round end } kind.  I mean real ones that stick in the ground.  Its fun to watch } Zadoc dodge when we play.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> That was scary!  Remind me never to do it again.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Don't not never not do it again.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > > I was once in a spelling bee, but I lost.  Was it > because the other contastents cheeted?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Yes. They stole all the good spellings from you. You were left with } mispellings, sware words, typo's and incorect plural's, all of which } you unfrotunately used.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they > remember that they forgot?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Say that again?

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> "Lawmakers want to 'unlock' your cellphones"?  I didn't know it was > locked.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Ah, well, you see, um--- } } HEY LOOK OVER THERE SOME GUY IS THREATENING TO STEAL OUR GUNS } } *runs away with bags of money*

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I hope you know, this means WAR! > > At least, I think it does.  Can I have some help with my dictionary and > thesaurus?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No, it does not. } } Here is the definition, provided courtesy of Merriam-Webster: } } this, pronoun: (1) : the person, thing, or idea that is present or near } in place, time, or thought or that has just been mentioned <these are } my hands> (2) : what is stated in the following phrase, clause, or } discourse <I can only say this: it wasn't here yesterday> } } If you observe carefully, you will see that "war" is not part of the } definition. So in answer to your statement, this does not mean war.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> How did I screw up?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Lying on your back.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Um, start again from the beginning?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Returning all the horses to the starting gate is difficult, but } possible, except for Spazzatronium, who died in a crumpled heap about } 200 yards into the race. We can haul him back there if you would like, } but reinflating him will cause a dreadful mess. Are you sure you want } to try?