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} Well, Timmy...(it is Timmy isn't it? I mean its always Timmy, am I
} right? Well if it isn't Timmy, it is now)...I think you are looking at
} this all wrong.
}
} You are right that Lutherans are a pain and that the whole "everything
} is sin" thing is a real downer. Did you listen to what I said there?
} I am giving you a hint on how you are looking at this wrong.
}
} Getting it?...no? Okay, I will proceed. There is a reason that
} Lutherans are so obsessed with sin. Its because focusing on it makes
} them feel low and it makes their hearts heavy.
}
} See it now? No? I have to just say it?
}
} Timmy, Lutherans are the source of gravity! They generate it with their
} bodies, but only when they are depressed or worried! The Protestant
} Reformation had nothing to do with a schism in beliefs related to the
} worship of an obviously fictional malevolent, manic, self contradictory
} diety. That was just a cover so people wouldn't panic. It was about
} finding a replacement source for the dwindling supply of gravity.
}
} You see, the older more nature based religions had been the source of
} gravity for a very long time. But because Catholicism tended to either
} stamp out or subsume other religions it encountered, in the course of
} the previous centuries (especially the dark ages) the Catholic church
} created a severe shortage of believers in more primitive religions.
} There was simply not enough of a supply of gravity. The Renaissance was
} a direct result of this. The feeling of lightness and positiveness
} that help spark the creative revolution was one of the first signs of
} the problem.
}
} You understand? A little? Don't worry you will get it.
}
} So continuing...as the religious at the time be basically a bulk of the
} learned as well they finally realized what was going on. The problem
} was that there was not way to go back to more pagan religions now, not
} after they had spent all that time, money, and blood to get everybody
} Catholic. It was Martin Luther who finally stumbled a solution.
} Admittedly inelegant but it did have the benefit of being self
} sustaining. And because the nature of man is to pretty much be a dick,
} he went overboard on execution and we have to religious landscape we
} have today.
}
} The upside is that there is plenty of gravity, but way too many
} varieties of Protestants.
}
} So now that we know more about gravity, can we more directly address
} your questions?
}
} No, not really. You never really explained what you wanted to build.
} You need to ask better questions.
}
} Oh, and your Granddad is just screwing with you. He is old and bored.
} Its what they do.
}
} And Uncle Miltie was the first transvestite.
}
} You owe the Oracle a copy of "The Meaning of Liff".
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