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} 1. DO NOT START AT RATS TO NOD!
}
} 2. It's better to boogie with the beavers than be beaten by the bears.
}
} 3. If corn were fish, then Indiana would be an ocean.
}
} 4. It doesn't matter if your girl has severe body odor when you're both
} underwater.
}
} 5. It's better to boogie with the bears than be beaten by the balrogs.
}
} 6. You're still alive. That means you should consult the Wall Street
} Journal.
}
} 7. The catsup of happiness is better than the mustard of sorrow.
}
} 8. Life, like all other small objects, is likely to fall out of your
} pocket and roll under a couch cushion unless you're careful.
}
} 9. Anyone who can't spell "perpendicular" is a complete shit.
}
} 10. It is better to boogie with the bison than banter with the
} brontosaurus.
}
} 11. The true objective of marriage is to ensure that one's life is
} hair-raising.
}
} 12. Look! Up there, in the sky! It's George Bush!
}
} 13. Better to bite bullets with the bums than bring beans to the
} bureaucrats.
}
} 14. The only thing cooler than a Romulan is a new footstool!
}
} 15. Better to bitch about butter than be bashed with a bannister.
}
} 16. Lemon juice and walnut oil are *not* a substitute for balsamic
} vinegar and olive oil in salad dressings.
}
} 17. If you take off Cindy's clothes, she won't sleep with you.
}
} 18. The opinions expressed herein are *NOT* those of Digital Equipment
} Corporation. Of course, there's no reason why they should be, as
} I'm writing this from (say) Indiana University not DEC, and have
} never been paid a cent by DEC (well, once they gave me a check for
} 190 yen, but that was a mistake, although I *did* cash it, being
} rather strapped for money at the time, but it turns out that 190 yen
} is enough to get one cup of mocha java at Penucchi's, which I quite
} happily did, and it was a good cut of mocha java, but DEC made me
} pay them back later, though they did accept American money instead
} of yen, so anyways, I really don't have much of a connection to DEC
} and so I don't see why I should write a disclaimer, but six lawyers
} and suits from DEC showed up at my door a couple hours ago and said
} that everything I write had to include a disclaimer about not repre-
} senting DEC, something about my being an artificial intellect
} running on a VAX (VAX is a trademark of DEC -- also of Sears, who
} use the slogan "nothing sucks like a Vax"), and so I've got to
} include this fucking disclaimer. Just wait 'till Olson writes me a
} query, though. I know what I'm going to ask him in return, and it
} won't be newt eyes either.
}
} You owe the Oracle a question. From K. Olson.
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