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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What do you say to someone whose stalking you?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} "Wanna come in?" Oh wait, I thought the question was, "What's the last } thing you'll say to someone stalking you."

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh dear.  I'm sorry for breaking your, um, whatever it was.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} My bad. Maybe we should make a TV show out of it.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> The Riddle Troll never gives up! (Even though he should have by > now, and cannot succeed in the end, anyway.)

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hint?

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Order!  I need order!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} OK. } I'm ordering scallops, New York strip and Tirimasu.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Does anyone really like those riddles?  I've had no real evidence so > far.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hint:

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You are completely misunderstanding what empty threats are all about.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I wasn't expecting that!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, } SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, } SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, } SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM. } } No one expects the spammish repetition.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Care to fill me in on the details?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Glad you asked. This project has a seven pillars, each composed of } twenty-three layers, with two year Gantt charts showing dependencies } within each layer. There are two main problems you need to fix here. } Firstly, all of the intra-layer and intra-pillar dependencies have } not been accounted for in the current Gantt charts. Secondly two } years is far too long for this project. It's supposed to be done } already and the drop dead (ha ha ha) date is about a month away, so } you'll need to find a way to trim the schedule without removing any } features. You'll find all of the project files in a box headed your } way. You do have a place for the 45' high cube shipping container, } right? I'll let you keep it on the trailer for now. } } I'm so pleased you volunteered to help with "any website problems" } that came my way. The American People are eagerly awaiting this new } health care web portal.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Who, me?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No, not this time. There has been a system error, and the application } will have to close. Any work that you have not saved will be lost. A } new instantiation of your person will be required. Press STOP to start.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Is it true that some of the best incarnations are mentally ill, but in a > good way?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The best ones do as they are told, and neither avoid the task nor } invent material that makes me look stupid. As you guessed, all } incarnations are mental. Some are certifiably mental, and thus have an } inside track on picking up the subtle nuances in my tone of voice when } I dictate material to them. } } If you ever get the opportunity to serve as an incarnation yourself, } look on your wall to see if you have a certificate of certification. } (Sometimes it will resemble a photograph of your grandfather.) Gaze at } it, mumble to yourself, and avoid typing the dreaded phrase, "How } Should I Know?" that indicates abysmal failure in the Incarnation Game. } Seek opportunities to display your correct rendition of my thoughts } concerning the usual topics, including bagpipes, Milton Berle, Zadoc, } pigeons (including Tom Lehrer), and anything having to do with MAD } Magazine. Other unexpected "usual" topics will spout from my mind } occasionally. Oh, and always (as in ALWAYS) beware thoughts that might } seep in from my dreaded cousin the Boracle.