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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Well!  I'm satisfied...for now.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No problem, mate. Just leave bucket, rope and handle the way that you } found them.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Am I the only one submitting tellme's?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Am I the only one submitting askme's?

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Come, let us reason together.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hmmm, no. The guitar bit is good but the lyrics just don't work. Try } "come together" } } Once more, from the top. Oh, and tell Billy to bring me my shears. } } You owe the Oracle a hidden message about my death in the lyrics.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> The bunny rabbits is coming!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Century XXI, Quarto .5 } } Bugs and his legion he approaches from behind, } With bright orange veggie he asketh the Doctor what is up. } With spear and magic helmet the other makes his move } Though you will have to be vewy quiet. } } The Oracle hath spokeneth. } } BALANCE DUE: $59.95 or a pot of hasenpfeffer.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Presumptably because of your astoundingly good abilities at > mind-reading and other flim-flammery I've seen you produce > exquisite answers to the null question. > > What sort of exquisite question would produce a null answer?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Almost this!

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Dig it?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I'd rather not. Are there any other funeral parlors around?

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What this: dye?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No, it's a colon, so you can stop wasting your time trying to color } Easter eggs with it.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Did it work right this time?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, let's look back at plan and the results, shall we? } } Step  1: Visitor presses button for doorbell. } Results: Success. } } Step  2: Doorbell wakes sleeping dog. } Results: Success. } } Step  3: Dog barks and pulls on leash trying to get to door. } Results: Success. } } Step  4: Leash pull opens crate with angry cat inside. } Results: Success. } } Step  5: Angry cat exits cage and distracts dog from door. } Results: Success. } } Step  6: Angry cat bolts from room and dog pulls even harder on leash. } Results: Success. } } Step  7: Crate, now without cat, is lighter and is pulled off of table }          by dog leash. } Results: Success. } } Step  8: Crate no longer blocks bowling ball, which rolls off table. } Results: Success. } } Step  9: Bowling ball lands in dog water bowl. } Results: Success. } } Step 10: Splashed water starts electrical fire in carefully positioned }          toaster. } Results: Success. } } Step 11: Fire burns through rope holding suspended piano. } Results: Success. } } Step 12: Falling piano creates breeze to knock over house of cards. } Results: Success. } } Step 13: Collapsed house of cards covers vent on projector. } Results: Success. } } Step 14: Projector bulb overheats and blows. } Results: Success. } } Step 15: Projector no longer shines on porch ambient light sensor. } Results: Success. } } Step 16: Porch light turns on. } Results: Success. } } Step 17: Porch light illuminates visitor on doorstep. } Results: Failure. } } Analysis of failure: } It seems the rope used in step 11 takes quite a while to burn, so the } postman gave up waiting and just left the box next to the doorstep. } } Additional sub-failure: the piano has crushed your delivery. } } You owe the Oracle a very straight-forward way to pay my internet bill.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why does the Riddle Troll claim to be Christian?  He is NOT.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} That's a standard complaint. Many Baptists say that Mormons are not } Christian. Many Christians say that Muslims are not Christian, and they } are probably right. Many Muslims say that Christians and Jews are } really Muslims, but are ignorant or confused. Many religious people of } many persuasions do not believe in the Internet Oracle, in spite of the } evidence. Religion is quite a big mess. } } How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Hint: Three, } but they're really one. } } Oops, the hint was the entire answer. } } You owe the Oracle some Lions and their light bulbs. Add a Kiwanis if } you want, too.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Jim Jones was totally evil, as evil as Darth Vader.=A0Given=A0his > ability t= o dupe=A0his followers, he must have been quite a gifted > actor and=20 speaker.=A0The name "Jim" is also short for "James", and > the People's=20 Temple consisted mostly of African Americans. One can't > help but notice=20 all these pieces of data=A0tend to point to one > conclusion, which raises=20 the question: contrary to the popular > account, did Jim Jones survive the tr= agedy at Jonestown, re-enter the > United States, and re-invent himself as an= >  actor=A0with the assumed identity "James Earl Jones"?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} He went on to greater evils, like creating quoted-printable.