1544-06 (02665 dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Father George, our local priest at the Catholic church, says I should
> be more attentive to the problem of Original Sin.
>
> Well, I confess to him every week, like I'm supposed to, and often I
> make up some sins to keep him interested, because I'm not really
> sinning very much. It is getting rather boring, telling him about my
> drinking and my playing poker, when I don't actually do those things,
> and then telling him the next week about my lying to him during
> confession.
>
> So Father George is correct. I need some Original Sins. What ones do
> you recommend?
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And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Go big or go home. When you're coming up with the most original of
} sins, there is a major need to be, well, original. Unfortunately, the
} incredible length and breadth of human history behind you makes this
} incredibly difficult. Your best bet is to take one of the major
} *existing *categories of sin, and add one of the major *intensifiers*
} of sin that would not normally go with it.
}
} For example, take a simple ACT OF THEFT but apply an extra layer of
} LOST DIGNITY. Take a PERVERSE SEXUAL ACT and tack on some OCCULT
} BEHAVIORS. Or go with the tried and true COVETING OF YOUR NEIGHBOR'S
} (x) and add a modern twist of ILL-DEFINED DIGITAL 'ABUSE'.
}
} In no time, your priest will be assigning tens or hundreds of obscure
} Latinate prayers due to... (*contemplates variables*) the time you
} stole a sex toy from a relative... in order to invoke a South Asian
} demon-spirit so that using it felt like... the shifter-handle of your
} boss' new car that you saw while stalking his Facebook.
}
} Good luck and good sinning! Well. Bad sinning. But you know what I
} mean.
}
} --In girum imus nocte et consumimur ignI--
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