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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> sharks sharks sharks sharks sharks sharks sharks sharks

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hm, something seems fishy about this question.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I'm pretty well fed up with the voice-to-text gizmo I bought, and I'm > whining to you about it (and asking your advice) because my mother > turned on the electric mixer when I started talking, and my dad got > into his truck and drove away. Oh well, at least they have stopped > telling me I whine too much. > > So I wanted to record the lyrics to Camelot, the musical about King > Autor and his 1001 Arabian Knights of the Round Table. First thing that > my stupid gizmo got wrong was the title. "Camel lot" it spelled, like > it was Honest Abdul's Used Camel Lot. > > The verse was worse. "By eight the morning fog must disappear" became > "I ate the morning frog and disappeared." At first I suspected that > your regular dirty work was afoot, because I could not see either you > or my morning frog. > > I got an answer in French from you three months ago. You didn't eat my > morning frog, did you?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Are you disappointed with what the output was? That's a perfect } translation of what the mixer said, so you should probably listen to } it. That gizmo's pretty smart.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle most abstract, What is the message in the William Tell Overture?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} An apple a day keeps the coroner nearby.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What is the best wsy to av0id serius drain bamage?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} How should I know? I'm just a helicopter.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> A person who has _____ can do anything.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} hallucinations

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Father George, our local priest at the Catholic church, says I should > be more attentive to the problem of Original Sin. > > Well, I confess to him every week, like I'm supposed to, and often I > make up some sins to keep him interested, because I'm not really > sinning very much. It is getting rather boring, telling him about my > drinking and my playing poker, when I don't actually do those things, > and then telling him the next week about my lying to him during > confession. > > So Father George is correct. I need some Original Sins. What ones do > you recommend?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Go big or go home. When you're coming up with the most original of } sins, there is a major need to be, well, original. Unfortunately, the } incredible length and breadth of human history behind you makes this } incredibly difficult. Your best bet is to take one of the major } *existing *categories of sin, and add one of the major *intensifiers* } of sin that would not normally go with it. } } For example, take a simple ACT OF THEFT but apply an extra layer of } LOST DIGNITY. Take a PERVERSE SEXUAL ACT and tack on some OCCULT } BEHAVIORS. Or go with the tried and true COVETING OF YOUR NEIGHBOR'S } (x) and add a modern twist of ILL-DEFINED DIGITAL 'ABUSE'. } } In no time, your priest will be assigning tens or hundreds of obscure } Latinate prayers due to... (*contemplates variables*) the time you } stole a sex toy from a relative... in order to invoke a South Asian } demon-spirit so that using it felt like... the shifter-handle of your } boss' new car that you saw while stalking his Facebook. } } Good luck and good sinning! Well. Bad sinning. But you know what I } mean. } } --In girum imus nocte et consumimur ignI--

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, > > How was it established?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} By Henry VIII, by his royal decree, thumbing his royal nose at the } Pope, dissolving the monasteries in 1536. } } You owe the Oracle some respect for his Oracular nose, like perhaps } some decent grovelling. Please? It's not polite to point. Particularly } if you snicker up your sleeve like that.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> You say I have a gift?  What is it?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It is a special gift deep within your heart. You must open it to find } out what it is. } } I'd lay down a tarp first.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Sigh.  I'm not as good at videogames as I used to be.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Don't worry; those video games are not as good as they used to be, } either. } } You owe the Oracle the source code (on a FIO-DEC punched paper tape) } for the original Spacewar! as played at MIT on a PDP-1. You also owe } the Oracle an operating PDP-1, complete with the knobs and buttons for } playing spacewar. Don't forget a paper-tape reader.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> ∀?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} ∀ } } In Australia it looks like this: A } } You owe the Oracle a dissertation on the question of whether or not } the character ⦲ is in Danish (or possibly Norwegian) with } reasoning that suggests all Scandinavians are crazy because they } have alphabets with funny rings and slashes over and through their } letters. Include examples from any Australian Swedes you can find, } but do not mention the jokes Danes tell about the Skaane region of } Sweden. Suggest 13 new Scandinavian letters and 58 new mathematical } symbols purportedly based on those letters. Or vice-versa.