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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > > Why is my duck green?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It wasn't easy, let me tell ya!

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> After hearing about Bruce, I couldn't help thinking: > > Can I be a dog?  Maybe I'm done being human.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, here's the thing. I'm kind of full-up on dog reincarnations at } this point. I can offer you...let's see...*consults clipboard* } cat...no....bunny...no... } } I've got a lovely otter in the Canadian backwoods. Lots of room, plenty } of trees? No? OK, what else, what else. *taps pencil on teeth* } } Oh, now this is special. I've just had a rhino open up in central } Africa. Lovely sunshine, lazing about...what's that? Yes, the Chinese } do still hunt the horns. Yes, good point. *scratches pencil on } clipboard* There must be something here... } } Ah, here we go. A dolphin in the Atlantic. A nice friendly pod, plenty } of exercise, no concerns, just swimming all day long. Sounds great, } yes? Perfect! Let's get you going straight away. Just stand right over } there and.... } } ZZZZZZZOT! } } Heh heh heh, what a maroon! } }  Oi! Zadoc! Come clean this mess up!

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Aaugh!  I wanted a space SUIT but I made an embarrassing typo!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Unfortunately even the Oracle cannot cancel your Travelocity } reservation for a space SUITE. When you get there, don't open the } windows, you don't have a space suit. } } You owe the Oracle the mint from your space pillow.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> My teacher says we have to support removable energy. Like wind. Right > now the wind is calm, so that removes it. Entirely like. > > I have an idea. When the wind is blowing we can use it to inflate a big > inner tube, like I use for swimming because I can't swim. Then when the > wind is calm like now we can let the air out and it will run the wind > turban. We can even take filled inner tubes to places with no wind. Am > I smart, or what?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Your idea is good, but it would be better applied to water power, } as it has higher energy density (in horsepower-fortnights per cubic } cubit) than wind. Go to the hills, find a spring, and fill a watering } can. Than walk back down, carrying the can higher and higher above } your head so as to keep the water at the absolute height you took it } from. Then use its potential energy to feed a power plant, such as } the biofuel willow. } } You owe the Oracle an essay on other uses of springs for energy and } plants, including the Clockwork Orange.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Hi, please tellme what I'm supposed to be offended by today.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Lazy incarnations.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why is it always easier the hard way?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} FOR THE LAST TIME!!!  I AM NOT GOING TO BUY VIAGRA FROM A SPAMMER!!!

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I couldn't beat 'em.  How do I join 'em?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Superglue or Gorilla Glue seem to work fairly well. } } You owe the Oracle a separate and disjoint recovery.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I need a good entomologist who can tell me the origin of words. Words > like squeggplodger. Nobody didn't simply make that up. No way. It > had to some from somewhere. A good entomologist (word guy) like you > should be able to say.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The etymology of entomology is that "entomos" is the Greek for "cut } into", since insects' bodies are cut into parts. } } The entomology of etymology is usually confined to "the blasted } woodworm have been at my bookshelves again". } } You owe the Oracle someone who can unplodge his squegger.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I really want to go there. Why am I not aloud?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It's a silent movie.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I gave you misinformation once.  How should I interpret the answer > you gave me?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, I would of course KNOW that you gave me misinformation. } This give me two options: } 1) Deliberately craft an advice that will have disastrous consequences }    if followed.  In that case you should obviously not follow it. } 2) If I knew you would expect 1), I should give you advice that will }    have disastrous consequences if NOT followed. } } Then, If I knew you'd expect 2), I should of course do 1). } } Good luck. } } You owe the Oracle that coin you were thinking about flipping.