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} Neither, actually. He was a dentist. The story of how he came to
} be a famous the world over as a reggae singer, when in reality he'd
} never even heard of reggae (though he had caught part of a ska song
} once while flipping past radio stations in his car, looking for the
} all-news station), much less performed any songs, is quite a remarkable
} one. It all started one day several years ago....
}
} < blur fade squiggle blur >
}
} [The scene is a dentist's office. A teenaged girl is lying in the
} chair, having a cavity drilled. Dr. Nash is using nitrous oxide as an
} anaesthetic.]
}
} Dr. Nash: We'll be done with this in a minute, and then we can get
} the filling in. You feeling okay?
} Girl: AaAAGHh Wirrngh.
} Dr. Nash: Good.
}
} [Meanwhile, inside the girl's head...]
}
} Dr. Nash: Excuse me while I remove the sunlight from your veins. I'm
} Bob Marley, you know. Tweet! Meow!
} Girl: Bob Marley! You aren't dead! I'm your biggest fan, you make
} my teeth dance and sing!
} Dr. Nash: I know. Hold still, I'm going to bring peace to the world
} and bleed dynamite.
} Girl: Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!
} Dr. Nash: [Begins tapdancing on instrument tray.]
}
} [Back in the real world, sometime later, the girl is talking with her
} friend.]
}
} Girl: So, I was on nitrous, and it was like Johnny Nash was Bob
} Marley!
} Friend 1: Groovy.
}
} [Later still, the friend is talking to another friend...]
}
} Friend 1: So she said that Johnny Nash was Bob Marley. Cool, huh?
} Friend 2: Wow.
}
} [Still later, the second friend is talking to a third friend...]
}
} Friend 2: Johnny Nash is Bob Marley or Jimmy Cliff or somebody like
} that.
} Friend 3: I've heard of them. They're reggae stars or something,
} right?
} Friend 2: Yeah. I think so.
}
} < blur squiggle fade blur >
}
} So you can see where this all led. Pretty soon it was all over town
} that Dr. Johnny Nash was an incognito reggae star. His clientele
} changed; lots of people with weird stringy hairdos and colorful caps
} came into his office and offered him "ganja". He was invited to perform
} at benefit concerts; he always politely refused, noting that he was a
} dentist and not a performer, but the invitations kept coming.
}
} Eventually, he became extremely depressed and committed suicide by
} overdosing himself with novacaine. Just shows you what terrible things
} rumors can be.
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