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} Printers are actually made to exhibit lifelik organic qualities, just to
} make it easier for the end-users to relate to the machines. At least,
} that was the idea that one of the mid-level managers at Mega Printers,
} Inc. had one day. "Let's make a printer that shakes just like Santa's
} belly" (he was, of course, thinking of Santa in the famous Disney
} cartoon). "That way, our customers won't be alinated by the cold,
} metallic look of out products, but will have something warm and human to
} realate to." He talked to one of the engineers about it. "Hey, what do
} you think of building a printer that shakes just like Santa's belly, so
} people can relate to it?". The engineer thought the idea stunk, and
} said so. Our manager then went to the Chief Engineer and told him about
} his idea. The Chief Engineer found the idea absolutely rotten. Then
} the manager went to the Marketing Director (who didn't know anything
} abot engineering) who thought the idea was so great that he presented it
} (as his own, of course) to the Vice President , who immediately decided
} that henceforth, all the company's printers should shake like Santa's
} belly, just to make it easier for people to relate to it. The
} competitors quickly did likewise - after all, who wants to make a
} product that people can't relate to? - and since that day, *all*
} printers behave that way.
}
} Of course, people *still* don't relate to their printers, and all the
} shaking accomplishes is to make people throw up, but that's another
} story.
}
}
} As to your question about what would happen if the printer was placed on
} Santa's belly: Some elementary physics tells us that nothing very much
} would happen, unless the printer's shaking matched Santa's resonance
} frequency. When I talked to Santa yesterday (this is of course
} impossible, since Santa doesn't exist, but never you mind), he wasn't
} very keen at all to be experimented upon in this fashion. Indeed, the
} sadistic glee with which you imagine the various consequences of such an
} experiment dismayed him quite a lot, and I shouldn't be very surprised
} if you dindn't get any Xmas gifts the next ten years or so...
}
}
} Ah, yes, tehe little green label: If you take a close look at it,
} you'll see that on it is microprinted, in a slightly (but only slightly)
} different shade of green: "Warranty void if thisl label is removed". I
} can think of no other reason for it being there than that they're hoping
} you wont notice the text and remove the label.
}
}
} You owe the Oracle some root beer - no, make that *lots of* root beer,
} and a super-mega-bottle of 7-up, and forty cans of Sprite. (Boy it's
} hot today). And throw in a large pizza, while you're at it. (*Without*
} newt's eyes, cretin!). And, *please*, do you really *have* to put
} insults disguised as praise in every question? ("big globs of green
} mucus" indeed!)
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