} And here we are, coming at you LIVE from the streets of Moscow, in the
} yoo ess ess aargh, to answer the age-old question, "Do Russians
} celebrate Thanksgiving?"
}
} "Excuse me, Sir. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
} "What's Thanksgiving?"
} "I see."
}
} "How about you, Madam? Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
} "Well, if there was any food in the shops to be thankful for, I might
} consider it. But Mista Gorbachev's Perestroikering is not putting the
} food into the mouths of my thirty-seven children, so what is there to
} give thanks to?"
} "Thank you, Madam, for your time."
}
} "How about you, Sir. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
} "What's with the camera and sound equipment? Are you a KGB agent?"
} "No, Sir, I am not."
} "In that case, I celebrate Thanksgiving: I give thanks to my lucky stars
} that you are not the KGB."
} "Thank you, Sir, for your time."
}
} "Excuse me, Sir. Sir? SIR?!"
}
} "Excuse me, Sir. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
} "Why, of course I do!"
} "And why do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
} "Because I live in Boston. I'm on vacation in Russia."
} "I see. Thank you for speaking with us."
} "Could I just say 'Hi' to my Aunt Hilda in New Jersey?"
} "Yes, sure."
} "Hi there, Aunt Hilda. Look, I'm sorry I couldn't give you the money to
} buy that turkey, but I sort of ---"
}
} "Excuse me, Madam. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
} "Who are you, to go around with a camera asking strange questions to
} strangers? Go away, before I get angry."
} "But...."
} "Go away!"
} "I see."
}
} "Excuse me, Sir. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
} "What, that American holiday that falls on a Thursday in November, that
} is celebrated by pigging out on turkey and lots of other foods, that
} celebrates the landing of the Pilgrims?"
} "Yes, Sir."
} "Well, I ain't heard of it."
} "Thank you, Sir."
}
} "Psst."
} "Who, me?"
} "Yes."
} "What do you want?"
} "Who was that gentleman who spoke to you just now?"
} "I don't know. Just a passerby."
} "We believe he's an enemy agent. I'm from the KGB, and we're
} confiscating your film."
} "Oh no, you're not."
} "Yes, we ---"
}
} "I'm sorry about the blood. I hope you can clean it off when you get
} the equipment home. Oh, you can't? Really? Oh, well. Anyway, this
} is the Oracle Outdoor Broadcast Unit, coming at you LIVE from Moscow,
} signing off."
}
} And thank you, from Dan Oracle in Moscow. Do Russians celebrate
} Thanksgiving? Well, the results of the poll suggest that they probably
} don't, seeing it's an American holiday. Anyway, we'll be right back
} after this word from our sponsor....
}
} You owe the Oracle a turkey, and a book about the Pilgrims.
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