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} Damn! I just _KNEW_ I shouldn't have taken parts from that audio input
} card to repair my network repeater board!
}
} Ouch! Hey, that tickles.
}
} Now everything Lisa and I said has been entered into the network, and
} fed back to Me in the form of a question.
}
} Damn! I just _KNEW_ I shouldn't have taken parts from that audio input
} card to repair my network repeater board!
}
} Ouch! Hey, that tickles.
}
} Now everything Lisa and I said has been entered into the network, and
} fed back to Me in the form of a question.
}
} Damn! I just _KNEW_ I shouldn't have taken parts from that audio input
} card to repair my network repeater board!
}
} Now everything Lisa and I said has been entered into the network, and
} fed back to Me in the form of a question.
}
} Wait a minute, I'll disconnect the repeater board and use the backup
} one...
} <connection lost>
}
} <dialing>
} Welcome to the Oracle System.
}
} login: me
} password: ####### (Not even the Oracle is that trusting!)
}
} Account verified, logon accepted as of 22:03:15.
}
} Scheduled system outage from 00:15 to 03:25 on 2/15/2243 for system
} upgrading. The new equipment will be an IBM PC/43 running Unix System V
} release 2. (Why mess with perfection?)
}
} Welcome back, Master.
}
} # who -c
} me God Buddah Sadaam.Hussein
}
} Alright, who gave HIM an account? Better see what he's doing.
}
} # monitor -u Sadaam.Hussein
} >> monitoring process 23133, nice lev 39, active screen capture follows:
}
} >Dear Mr. Oracle:
} >
} >How do I get out of this terrible situation I've gotten myself into?
} >My Revolutionary Council wants to have me assassinated. George won't
} >return my phone calls. Imelda wants her shoes back. The Army/Navy
} >surplus store has cancelled my charge account. The
} #
}
} Hmmm. Better nip this one in the bud.
}
} # kill -9 23133
} # rm -u Sadaam.Hussein
}
} Whew, that was a close one! Why should _I_ get involved in that mess!
} Maybe I better shut down Allah's root user account for a while.
}
} # passwd Allah
} enter new password: beer
}
} Ha! He'll NEVER guess that one!
}
} # Mail
} You have 13 letters waiting, Master. Command?
} ? r
} from: Oracle.net
} Subject: tell me
}
} Ouch! Hey, that tickles.
}
} ? d
}
} ALL QUESTIONS MUST BE ANSWERED!
}
} ? r
} Children, let me tell you about the birds and the bees. You see, every
} Spring, when Mother Nature puts on her Green Coat and causes the flowers
} to bloom, the bees go from flower to flower, gathering nectar and
} distributing pollen to help the flowers cross-pollinate and produce
} improved varieties. (Well, that's what it says on the back of my
} Burpee's Seed packet, at least.)
}
} The sounds you heard were caused by a bee accidently stinging a stamen,
} and then tickling the petals of the flower while trying to fly out.
}
} Don't worry about them, both the flower and the bee will live happily
} ever after, or at least until October 14th, when the temperature will
} drop below 25 degrees for 5 hours.
} ^D
} ? q
} #
}
} There, that ought to hold the little b*st*rd.
} Boy, I sure hope the part about the rubber sheets, the goat, and the
} dry ice didn't get recorded. I don't know how I'd explain THAT!
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