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} Despite a shameful lack of brown-nosing, I will tell you the story. I
} have been dying to tell it for years, and you seem to be a deserving,
} but arrogant, soul.
}
} "Once upon a time, there was a fellow named..."
}
} Wait! You are not going to tell him "The Ancient Hidden
} Story?" Are you?
}
} Uh, yeah. Why not?
}
} It is too powerful for a mere mortal. It will turn his brains
} into fine grade mush.
}
} Sure, but it will be highly literate mush. It seems like a fair trade
} to me.
}
} "a fellow named Harly."
}
} Burt.
}
} What's Burt?
}
} The name is Burt, not Harly.
}
} Burt, Harly, it does NOT make any difference. Fine, Burt it is.
}
} "a fellow named Burt." Happy? "Burt lived on a small farm with his
} wife, children, and farm animals. They loved each other dearly."
}
} That is totally sick.
}
} What are you talking about?
}
} Incest and beastiality. This story is getting better by the
} second. I can not wait to see where it goes from here.
}
} You filthy pervert! I meant love in a nice, warm way. Except, of
} course, between Burt and his wife. Their love is more, ah, intimate,
} but the children and animals are not involved in that part! You
} understand? OK.
}
} "One day Burt discovered a shiny, copper coin in his field."
}
} Let me get this straight. Burt discovered a "shiny, copper
} coin" in the dirt? How long had it been there?
}
} I don't know how long! Who cares!
}
} Copper corrodes very easily. If you had said "a green,
} encrusted coin which might contain copper," then I would
} believe you.
}
} It's a magic coin, see? Magic coins don't rust!
}
} Ah, a magic coin. That makes sense. I fully understand.
} Please continue.
}
} Sigh... "As he reached down to grab the coin, a worm peeped up out of
} the soil. The worm said..."
}
} A talking worm. Magical, no doubt.
}
} No doubt... "The worm said, 'please do not take my coin. It is my
} last coin.'"
}
} The worm had owned several coins? How did he carry them? What
} did he spend them on? Is there a secret economy among talking
} worms? Was there an exchange rate between human currency and
} worm coins? How did the worms make the coins? Why were the
} coins magical? What did the coins do? How did the coin get
} into the field? Is there a point to this story? Does it ever
} end? It does seem to be a very long story. Are you finished
} yet?
}
} Shut up! Shut up! Forget it. That was the end of the story. Not
} very exciting, but it made a deep commentary on the failure of the
} modern agricultural/political inferface.
}
} You owe the Oracle a word in edgewise.
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