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} Let me start by saying that "honest Oracle" is a very poor attempt at
} groveling, but I'll forgive you this one time, because you're at that
} difficult age...
}
} But seriously, folks.
}
} "That difficult age" is a phrase parents many generations ago coined to
} express their utter dismay and disappointment with their children. It
} goes along with phrases like "What am I going to do with you?," which
} is actually a rhetorical question that translates into "At this moment,
} nothing would please me more than to kick your butt to China and back."
}
} These phrases are similar to the ones parents use to console eachother.
} For example, parents try to soothe eachother by saying "Oh, he's just
} going through a phase.," when what they really mean is "Honey, we've
} conceived the Anti-Christ." That's why so many parents walk around
} with this hollow-eyed glaze that looks like they've just taken a long,
} hard stare directly into the Gates of Hell. They have. That's what
} parenthood is all about. Anyone who thinks differently obviously
} hasn't read "Calvin and Hobbes."
}
} Anyway, back to your question.
}
} "At that difficult age" is really a misnomer. That conveys the message
} that you, as an individual, are somehow responsible for the trauma in
} your life to yourself and those around you. That concept is simply too
} limited, typical of the mortal need to blame the individual. The truth
} of the matter is that what seems difficult to you mortals, which you
} bring down to the individual level, is actually a symptom of a greater
} disease that involves the whole Time/Space Fabric. Unfortunately, the
} situation is far too complex for your mortal mind to understand.
}
} So, to satisfy your need to break this phenomenon down into time
} periods, it would be more accurate to say "IN that difficult age." You
} are living IN that difficult age, which you call the Age of
} Information. The Age of Information was preceeded by the Industrial
} Age, which was "that arduous age." Before that was the Age of
} Agriculture, which was "that not-very-easy age." That was right after
} the Iron Age, which was the "tough-but-getting better age." Which
} followed the Stone Age, which was "that amazingly strange and
} frightening age which has a tendency to confuse many of us with less
} developed cranial capacity." That was preceeded by a time period known
} roughly as "The Age of Combining Various Grunts and Growls Into
} Slightly More Complex Grunts and Growls with Little Meaning Attached to
} Them at this Point." There's little value in going much beyond that.
}
} So, there really isn't much you or your parents can do about it.
} You're living in The Age of Information, that difficult age. The Age
} of Information isn't scheduled to end until the year 2185, long after
} you're dead and gone. But you should feel happy, because The Age of
} Information is followed by The Age of Doom, and that's REALLY gonna
} suck.
}
} You owe The Oracle a time belt that doesn't pinch at the waist.
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