} Indeed, mortal, you have asked a question that has perplexed the
} multitudes on your paltry planet for millenia, if not eons. The
} question of what constitutes a "subtle" pickup line is subtle to say
} the least; as recent events have shown, if the pickupee's concept of
} subtle does not correspond with the pickuper's, the result could be the
} phenomenon known as "sexual harrassment." Descriptions of pubic hair
} floating in one's soft drink, and bragging of one's endowment are
} obvious examples of this.
}
} However, given the judgment passed by the Senate Judiciary Committee,
} the Oracle will interpret for you "subtle" pick-up lines as defined by
} your primitive society:
}
} BLATANT: "Hey baby, wanna get naked?"
} SUBTLE: "I think the weather is wonderful."
}
} This famous pickup line was first used in the cultural NC-17 film,
} "NBC Evening News Vixens in Heat." The implications of the word
} "weather" can mean many things, for example, hot and sunny, or wet and
} wild. In any case, as in the aforementioned film, the term weather is
} enough to get any member of the opposite gender to fall at your feet,
} especially if you are a weatherperson.
} ---
}
} BLATANT: "Yo, how 'bout you and I go do some of the
} slam, bam, thank you ma'am action?"
} SUBTLE: "Care to grab some lunch?"
}
} As all mortals know, "quickies", as they are colloquially known, tend
} to be taken during the lunch hour on working days. The use of the term
} "grab" is perhaps the least subtle point here, implying that groping,
} fondling, etc of various body parts is the actual nature of the
} request.
} ---
}
} BLATANT: "Let's do the wild thing."
} SUBTLE: "Hi."
}
} The mere use of the familiar "Hi" to one of the opposite gender is
} sufficient to imply that a date, sex, etc is desired. As defined by the
} National Organization for Women, the proper use of a non-sexist,
} politically correct greeting is "I bring you greetings, respected
} colleague." In fact, anytime somebody says "Hi" to you is sufficient
} grounds to bring a sexual harrassment suit against them, and
} automatically gives you the right to brand the "greeter" as a sexist
} pig. NOW is a wonderful organization, is it not?
}
} Of course, given the limited mental capacity of you puny mortals, the
} Oracle cannot state any of the more subtle lines. (If the Oracle could
} rebuild the universe, He would restructure society on your planet
} entirely.)
}
} You owe the Oracle two evenings alone with Lisa.
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