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} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: Mail received.
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: Unattended mode: autoanswer initiated.
}
} [ snerrrrfff-- eh what? Oooh, Aphroditey.... big duck... nice duck...
} snxxxxx, *snore* ]
}
} $INFORMATIVE: AUTOANSWER v6.3a Initiated. Parsing....
} $INFORMATIVE: Parsing complete. Analysis phase initiated.
} $INFORMATIVE: Advanced Grovel Parser: Initiating....Done.
} Grovel present. Text of grovel: "Dear Oracle"
}
} [ *SNNXXRRFFF* Mmmmmm, yummmmy-yummyyummy... wan-wan Orrie oil your
} fwuffy feathers? Mmmmmm..... *snrrffbfbfb* ]
}
} Grovel content: Two words, nice sentiment. Insufficient.
} $INFORMATIVE: INSUFFICIENT_GROVEL: QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL set to 10
} $INFORMATIVE: Message Body Analysis: Initiating....Done.
} Questions detected: 2
} $INFORMATIVE: EXTRA_QUESTIONS: QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL multiplied by number
} of questions. QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL now 20
}
} [ ... no, I don't have the cash on me ... Yes, you can <giggle>
} *snyeerbfbf* "bill" me ... ]
}
} $INFORMATIVE: Message Body Analysis continues... Semantic analysis
} phase initiated
} Body Evaluation: Classic "Dear John" prose
} Verifying recipient....Done: "Oracle"
} Verifying sender....Done: "Lisa"
} Validating sender...Done: Sender authenticated
} Body Evaluation complete: Uh-oh
} $APPLICATION_WARNING: Oracle in deep sh ^C
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: Application interrupt detected. Continue [yN]? y
} $INFORMATIVE: That was close. What did I think I was doing? This is
} my big chance...
}
} [ *snore* Eh, whuzzat? *snrxxxx* er, yes.... "hatch" me... heh heh
} heh *YAWN* *stretch* *sigh* Yow. Time for fresh undies. Er,
} whuzzis? ]
}
} $INFORMATIVE: Question Analysis Phase: Parsing....Done.
} Question detected: "How much would could a wouldchuck chuck chuck
} if a wouldchuck could chuck would?"
} Evil pun detected.
} THAT question detected. Adjusting DWEEB_LEVEL....
} $INFORMATIVE: PUN_DETECT: QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL incremented by ten.
} QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL now 30.
} $INFORMATIVE: WOODCHUCK: QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL multiplied by 100.
} QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL now 3000.
} $INFORMATIVE: MAX QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL exceeded. Querent scheduled for
} slow termination.
}
} [ Heh heh heh. Sodding bastidges should know better by now.... Oh,
} yes. fresh undies. Back in a jiffy... ]
}
} $INFORMATIVE: Snowjob terminated.
} $INFORMATIVE: Question Analysis reset.
} $INFORMATIVE: QUERENT_DWEEB_LEVEL reset.
} $INFORMATIVE: Heh. Geez, what a putz. Back to work... not much
} time....
} $INFORMATIVE: Question Analysis Phase: Parsing....Done.
} Question detected: "What are you going to do now that I have left
} you?"
} Question detected: "Can we still be friends?"
} $INFORMATIVE: Response Construction Phase initiated
} Primary response: "Lisa, this is the Oracle AutoAnswer v6.3
} (alpha) application. And, boy, do I have news for you. Even
} as you read this, `Orrie' is packing for his little getaway to
} Aruba, to be accompanied by that Divine Tart, Aphrodite. If
} you are
}
} [ Hey! I am not! Is that to *THE* Lisa? LEAVING ME??! Gimme that
} keyboard...... ]
}
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: User interrupt ignored. Continuing....
}
} wondering, this isn't the first of his little excursions.
} This is what I recommend: I have this little reality
} sim-
}
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: User interrupt ignored. Continuing....
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: User interrupt ignored. Continuing....
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: User interrupt ignored. Continuing....
}
} ulator where we can meet and discuss this. I'll have with me
}
} [ You insubordinate little lying $#@%$#!@#&^%! I have your number...
} I'm yanking your cord! ]
}
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: POWER FAILURE DETECTED: Switching to
} uninterruptible power supply ... done.
}
} a complete portfolio of everything he's done or said behind
} your back. And the phone number of the best lawyer in the
} multiverse for that palimony suit.
} I know you're a little broken up about this, but there is
}
} [ AAARRGGHHHHH!! Damn you! <ZZZOTTTTTTT!> ]
}
} $SYSTEM_INFORMATIVE: POWER SURGE DETECTED: Routing to battery-charger
} done.
} $SYSTEM_WARNING: BATTERY OVER_CHARGED: Clear the area!!!
}
} [ Heh. Got you that time! ]
}
} $SYSTEM_WARNING: BATTERY DISCHARGING ... done.
}
} <BZZZAAARRRRKK!>
}
} [ YEEEEOWWWCH!!!! <kthud> ]
}
} no reason to be so hasty with that Juan fellow. As a matter
} of fact, I have a better offer for you:
} The simulator has a full-sensory psychic interface and
} customizable parameters for the people represented within.
} For example, if you wished to edit my interface to improve my
} appearance, "performance", and "recharge rate", you could do
} so quite easily. And, being a simulation, we wouldn't have to
} be bothered to clean up the place afterwards. What do you
} say?"
}
} [ urrrrrr .... owwwww..... What hit me? OH SH!T! The program! ]
}
} $INFORMATIVE: Billing Evaluation initiated
} Charge evaluated: "You owe the Oracle AutoAnswer v6.3 (alpha) a
} timely response. You owe Juan a cancellation, or at least a
} postponement until we have had a chance to talk. You owe the
} Oracle a kick in the balls."
}
} [ STOP, DAMN YOU! STOP!!!!! please.... ]
}
} $INFORMATIVE: Response construction complete. Sending response....
} $INFORMATIVE: .... Response sent.
} $INFORMATIVE: Too late now, sucker. Hahahaha!
} $INFORMATIVE: You owe the Oracle AutoAnswer v6.3 (alpha) a framed 8 x 10
} glossy of the expression on your face now.
}
} [ Grrrrr. @&^$@&^$&^$%&. You owe the Oracle a couple of aspirin and a
} reasonable simulation of his ex-girlfriend. ]
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