} You little snot, offering me the *option* of gender, as if you
} are passing to me some special PRIVILEGE. I'll bet the world's WEALTH
} that you've never heard of the term *omni*sexual, huh?? And if you
} have, you worthless pile of Shoggoth slime, I'll bet it's because you
} read those STOOOPID newsgroups like "alt.sex" or, for you, you tiny
} smudge of chocolate on a baby's bottom, "alt.sex.mayonnaise.reptiles."
} You'd better be glad that I can hold my anger at bay, and not ZOT
} your EYES right from your WEENIE LITTLE HEAD. Now, if you don't mind,
} I'd like to simply answer your worthless, putrid little inquiry.
}
} First of all, cultures can be made of several different
} substances, depending on what organism you are interested in growing.
}
} Bacteria, one-celled microscopic organisms of the plant kingdom
} (class Schizomycetes) that are capable of free living since they
} possess all the metabolic processes necessary for growth and
} reproduction. They are present virtually everywhere, and some can live
} even in the absence of free oxygen. They can be classified according
} to (1) shape: cocci (round or oval); bacilli (rod shaped); and
} spirilla (curved rods); (2) need for oxygen; (3) ability to take up
} Gram's stain (gram negative or positive); and (4) ability to utilize
} various metabolites. Some bacteria form spores, hardened protective
} cases, which permit them to survive harsh environments, even for
} centuries. Bacteria are a major cause of human disease, and many ways
} to control them have been devised. Common protective measures include
} sterilization with high heat (121!C), such as pasteurization to kill
} pathogenic bacteria in milk, and exposure to chemical disinfectants.
} Some bacteria and yeasts produce compounds that kill other bacteria,
} and these have been isolated and used as antibiotics, such as
} penicillin. The body can produce antibodies to some bacteria to kill
} them. Bacteria are useful in the production of cheese, alcoholic
} beverages, and drugs. Through the use of recombinant DNA techniques
} developed in the 1970s, they can produce such substances as
} interferon, beta-endorphin, and growth hormone in commercial
} quantities when the genes for these substances are inserted into the
} bacterial genetic material.
}
} If you are interested in growing bacteria, research to find what
} sort of culture they prefer. Depending on their shape and size, some
} prefer ancient culture, while others prefer poststructuralist. In
} rare cases, your bacteria will prefer reruns and luke warm beer, or
} zero culture.
}
} The Oracle has spoken.
}
} You owe the oracle a copy of _The Andromeda Strain_, by Michael
} Crichton.
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