|
} bzzzzz...........bzzzzz.........RING.........RING........RING.......
} .........>click<.......
}
} I'm sorry, but the Oracle is not in right now. If you wish to leave
} a question, please press one now. To request a muse, press two now.
} If you need to speak to Lisa, press three now. To obtain further
} information about the "Milk and Honey" campaign, press four now.
} If you are having difficulty thinking of a question press five now.
} If you wish to hear these choices again, press the pound sign.
}
} .......hissss.......BOOOP..(the sound of a five being pressed)....
}
} At the current time, the Oracle has requested that all supplicants
} using this feature be presented with the following choices:
} If you wish to ask about the nature of the universe, press one now.
} If you wish to ask about your future, press two now.
} If you wish to ask about the volume of wood a woodchuck could chuck
} given that a woodchuck was capable of such an action, press three
} now. If you wish to ask about the worth of a particular financial
} investment, press four now. For other questions press five. If
} you wish to hear this menu again, press the pound sign. To speak
} to an operator, say HELLO.
}
} ......Ummmmm, HELLO?
}
} One moment please. The next available demigod will be with you
} momentarily. Please stay on the line, your supplication is being
} handled in the order in which it was received.
}
} .......(the sound of old ABBA records being played in the
} background)... (there was something in the air that night, just out of
} sight, Fernando.)
}
} One moment please. The next available demigod will be with you
} moment.......>click<........
}
} Supplication help line, Thor here. What may I help you with today?
}
} ....Ummm, well, Sir, I'm having difficulty thinking of a question.
}
} I see. And how long has it been since you last groveled to the
} Oracle?
}
} ....Well, you see, I've been kind of busy and I haven't...
}
} So what you are saying is that you *haven't* even thought of the
} his Oracleness in quite a while?
}
} ....Well, No, not really....
}
} I see. Let me check something....
} (the sound of keys being pressed in the background)
} Mortal, according to our records you are six years late on your
} humility payments. Do you realize how serious an infraction
} this is?
}
} ....well, no. Not really....You see, I'm sort of....
}
} I'm sorry, mortal. I'm going to have to send you to our collections
} department. Please hold.
}
} ....(the sound of Barry Manilow being played)....
}
} ....>click<....
} Collections Department, Bealzebub speaking. Your account number?
}
} ....Well, I was just talking to Thor, and he was....
}
} Your account number, please? I do not have much of patience.
}
} ....I.....well....I don't know....
}
} Then what is your religious denomination?
}
} ....In the sixties I was sort of a "free-love" type....
}
} That is not an officially endorsed denomination. Please try to
} cooperate, mortal. It will make the collection process much easier
} for you.
}
} ....I've always been sort of an agnostic....
}
} I see. One moment please.
}
} >ZOT<
}
} .......bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
}
} You owe the Oracle a complete credit history and a better voice-mail
} system.
|
![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
