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} Oracle: "Damn! ANOTHER one? That's the third bad egg this week..."
}
} Lisa: "Now calm down, Orrie... look, there's a note inside..."
}
} "Deare Mistere Oraclee:
} I regrett thatt aye amm unnablee to tayke caree of myy littel
} eggg. I knoww you can givee him a good hom, warrm foode, and a
} chanse at tha Presedenssy.
} --- Love and respectte,
} Thee Reublicann Partyyye"
}
} Oracle: "Geesh! WHY do they always send them to ME... WHY do *I* get
} all the pity cases?"
}
} Lisa: [tickling lil' Dan under the chin] "gootchie goo! gootchie goo!
} Aw, look, Orrie... he's so cute and harmless... can't we keep
} him?"
}
} O: "Now look, Lisa..."
}
} L: "Pleeease..."
}
} O: "..but.."
}
} L: "PLEEEASE..."
}
} O: "...but...but you know that I'm not good around kids. Look what
} happened last time."
}
} L: [throwing her arms in the air] "Oh, PLEASE! You're not going to
} start on that River-thing again, are you?!"
}
} O: "Yes, I *am* going to start, and that was 'Watergate', by the way."
}
} L: "Look, I've told you a thousand times, that wasn't your fault. He
} probably learned it from one of the kids in Congress, that's all.
} You were a *fine* role model for the boy."
}
} Dan: "goofer..dadder..mama!"
}
} L: "awww... look at him, Orrie. He wants to be held by his da-da!"
}
} O: "I am *not* his da-da, er, father! I dunno, Lisa, I just don't
} think I'd be a good influence on the boy -- what he needs is some
} sort of discipline, maybe go to a private school or join the
} National Guard..."
}
} Dan: [anxiously] "NA!...NA!!..NOOO NA-GA!...NA!...NA!...NOOOOOO!
} DA-DA!" [crying] "da-da...no na-ga...da-da..."
}
} L: "Orrie! You scared him! You know better than to say the G-U-A-R-D
} word! Now look what you've done..."
}
} O: "Sorry, Lese, but that's exactly what I mean. I may know All There
} Is To Know, but I'm still lousy with kids -- especially infants."
}
} L: "Well... I understand some of your fears, but don't worry! You'll
} make a great da-da..."
}
} Dan: "DA-DA!"
}
} O: "Yes, well, maybe it won't be so bad once he starts school..."
}
} Dan: [hysterical] "SCHOO!...NO SCHOO!...NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!....NO
} SCHOO DA-DA!"
}
} L: "Hmm... looks like he doesn't want yo go to you-know-where, either.
} I guess that's not a big surprise. Well, I suppose we can just
} keep him around, maybe he can help you with your job!"
}
} O: [stunned] "...help...me...HIM?"
}
} L: "Sure, you know, maybe take out the trash, bring coffee, answer a
} few questions now and then..."
}
} O: "...him...help ME?...him...ANSWER questions?"
}
} Dan: "POTATOE!"
}
} L: "Orrie! Did you hear that?! He spoke his first silent e!"
}
} O: "him...help ME..."
}
} L: "oh...Orrie...I just know we'll all be so happy together...and
} besides, now that he's here in our Sanctum, he's immortal, just
} like you and me!"
}
} O: "him...IMMORTAL!?...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
}
} [suddenly the ground quakes, the walls burst into flames, and the
} Oracle falls out of bed]
}
} Lisa: "...huh?...mmmmm...Orrie....it's 3 in the morning...what are you
} doing?"
}
} Oracle: "...hmm...oh, sorry hun...bad nightmare...terrible dream...go
} back to sleep..."
}
} Lisa: "...mmm...'nite Orrie"
}
} Oracle: "g'night Lisa"
}
} Lisa: "'nite, son"
}
} H. Ross: "'nite mama"
}
} [suddenly the ground quakes...]
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