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} THIS IS JEOPARDY!
}
} Now entering the studio are today's contestants:
}
} A stockbroker from New York City and father of eight children, Esteban
} MacCorkindale;
}
} A housewife and part-time prostitute from Fresno, California, Tai Ling
} Czeznorsky;
}
} And an omniscient god on a worldwide computer network and Irish chef,
} Usenet O'Racle.
}
} And now here is the host of Jeopardy!, ALEX TREBEK!
}
} AT: Thank you, Johnny, and welcome to Jeopardy! I'd like to
} welcome our new players and say that today's game should be
} pretty damn boring, what with an omniscient god on the
} panel. Let's get to today's categories, which are
}
} Oracle: Insects, History, Science, "Rose"s, Potpourri, and Famous
} Authors.
}
} AT: Uh...thanks. Tai Ling, you won the toss...
}
} O: I knew she would.
}
} AT: ...so you select first.
}
} TLC: I'll take "Insects" for $100.
}
} AT: The clue is "This insect is known for..."
}
} O: What is the deathwatch beetle?
}
} AT: Dammit! At least let me finish the clue first, Usenet!
} You know it's in the rules!
}
} O: What's the point of that?
}
} EM: He's right. Let's just give him the cash and skip to Double
} Jeopardy!, okay?
}
} AT: Well, all right. Let's see, that's...$52800. Okay, our
} final Jeopardy! category is "Boring Belgians and their
} Hobbies."
}
} O: I knew that.
}
} AT: SHUT UP!!! You'll have thirty seconds in which to write
} the correct question. The clue is
}
} > Alex Bishmanek TAC : +32 2 612 32-27
} > Technical Support Analyst Direct: +32 2 612 32-29
} > International Widget Systems S.A. Fax : +32 2 612 32-35
} > 482 avenue Louise, 5th Floor RFC822: abishman@widget.com
} > 2100 Brussels, Belgium
}
} Good luck, players.
}
} <theme music plays, during which Esteban and Tai Ling scribble
} furiously. The Oracle writes a fast note and waits.>
}
} AT: Times up! Let's see what we have. We'll start with Tai Ling,
} who wrote "What is Beekeeping." No, sorry, that is incorrect,
} but hey, you have no cash, so who cares?
}
} Esteban, you put down "Antiques." Sorry, you must phrase it
} in the form of a question and you're wrong and you're broke,
} so piss off.
}
} What did the Oracle put down? What is "What is wearing
} women's clothing and dancing the lambada with passing
} sailor while singing 'Rule Brittania'?" That is of
} course correct, and your wager was...all of it, bringing
} your one-day cash total to $105600.
}
} O: Don't worry about it, Alex, I'm donating it all to AIDS
} research.
}
} AT: And that's all for Jeopardy! Tune in tomorrow, when we'll
} have another boring game as our returning champion is
} already answering tomorrow's questions.
}
} O: What is Spam? Who is PeeWee Herman? What is Bee Snot?.....
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
