} The alarm clock rings. The Oracle presses the snooze bar.
} The alarm clock rings. The Oracle sits up groggily and casts a
} chilling eye toward the clock, which winces and turns off.
} The Oracle gets out of bed, slips on his bunny slippers, puts on
} his robe, takes it off, turns it inside out, puts it back on.
} He opens the window shade a crack, looks out at the starry universe,
} and sees that it is the same universe he first looked at countless
} eons ago. The shade drops from his fingers back into place. From
} some dark recess, the word "coffee" enters his brain.
} He turns on the kitchen lights, shouts "OW! OW! OW! CRAP!" and quickly
} turns them back off. He shields his eyes and timidly flicks the light
} switch back on. With one hand over his eyes, he shuffles groggily
} over to the fridge and reads the note stuck to it through the crack
} in his fingers: "Orrie, don't forget you promised to clean out the
} garage, the garbage needs taking out, and have a supplicant get you
} a keg of mead to serve to the guests tonight. XOXOXO, L."
} His eyes more or less adjusted to the kitchen lights, the Oracle pours
} a cup from the waiting pot cradled in the automatic brew machine,
} sits down at the table, and opens his newspaper, the
} "Mt. Olympus Myths." The front page, as always, is old news. He
} turns to the funny papers. Glances at Peanuts, smirks at Calvin and
} Hobbs. Looks for the six differences between the pictures in
} Hocus Focus. Turns the page to the horoscope section, takes a sip
} from his coffee, realizes too late that it is still too hot drink,
} swallows it painfully.
} He runs his finger down the horoscopes for his sign: Aries, Taurus,
} Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Oracle. ORACLE: "Ask people who are older and
} wiser for help. Stay open to new suggestions of friends. Winning
} isn't as important to your future as how you play the game. Excercise
} is fun with your friends. Consider a checkup and diet plan. Flirt
} just a little with guests tonight and you'll be going to new places.
} You never call home; for all you know, your parents might be dead.
} Today is a good day to post the latest Oracularities." The Oracle
} grunts, makes a mental note, blows gently into the coffee cup, takes a
} second sip, sighs. "I should never have let mother talk me into
} getting her that job as the newspaper's psychic, I don't care if she IS
} one of the three fates," he thinks.
} The Oracle turns to the horse racing page, glances through the entries,
} and picks up the telephone.