} Right. This requires immediate attention.
}
} 1. Write to all other users logged on an NYU:
}
} "Hi. I'm a supplicant, and I've got a woodchuck problem."
}
} > Done it.
}
} Hey? Well, umm...
}
} 2. Post in news.announce with a distribution of `world':
}
} "Hi. I'm a supplicant, and I've got a woodchuck problem."
}
} > Yep, that too.
}
} Whawherehoozah? Perhaps...
}
} 3. Grep the entire news spool for addresses and mail every single
} one you can find:
}
} "Hi. I'm a supplicant, and I've got a woodchuck problem."
}
} > Uh, well, I hate to tell you this but..
}
} Still got a couple more ideas:
}
} 4. Post in news.announce.newusers with a `world' distribution:
}
} "Hi. In my previous life I was a supplicant with a woodchuck
} problem, but now I'm a new user."
}
} > Why don't you check in news.announce.newusers. I've already done it.
}
} <Grrr> One more option:
}
} It's called "Electro-<ZOT> Therapy". It's extreme, but this is an
} extreme situation.
}
} Here goes...
}
} oracle% zot -therapy supplicant@cs.nyu.edu
}
} # ####### ####### ####### #
} # # # # # #
} # # # # # #
} # # # # # #
} # # # # # #
} # # # # # #
} # ####### ####### # #
}
} <Silence>
}
} [The Scene: A busy newsroom in CNN's Atlanta HQ. Reporters running
} around everywhere, papers being shuffled, alarms sounding, and an
} emergency news report.]
}
} "And in an unconfirmed report just to hand, sources say that New York
} University has been instantly vaporised, by what appears to be some
} sort of nuclear blast. Just fourteen minutes ago, the entire campus
} appeared to explode, and almost "flew" up into the air in many millions
} of pieces. It seems that just beforehand a mighty blast of thermal
} energy was detected in NORAD's headquarters almost `arcing' across from
} Indiana University to New York University. Law Enforcement Agencies are
} unsure at this moment if it was a terrorist strike, or whether it was
} just an almighty <ZOT> from the Usenet Oracle, who is based at Indiana
} University. We cross live to our Usenet Oracle Correspondent at Indiana
} University, Steve Kinzler, for the latest. Steve, any word from the
} Oracle?"
}
} "Well, not as yet, but it seems that the blast occurred not long after
} NYU opened an SMTP connection with Indiana. It would seem perfectly
} reasonable that the Oracle has simply <ZOT>ted an annoying supplicant,
} or perhaps he has been testing his new Electro-<ZOT> therapy, which
} involves large amounts of energy..."
}
} "Thankyou Steve. We'll cross live later to our Usenet Oracle
} Correspondent for the latest. And in other news, President Clinton
} claimed today that he in fact got a CompuServe account, but he didn't
} really `log in'...."
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