} THE ONLY LOGICAL COURSE OF ACTION
} The Oracle had had a particularly trying day already. No coffee
} had been prepared that morning, so He had had to smite an office lackey
} in order to keep the rest of them on their toes. Then Lisa called and
} told Him her mother would be visting next week, and was bringing her
} aged schnauzer Pooky with her as well. He had already crunched through
} three rolls of Tums that afternoon when God called and wanted to have
} Their routine weekly argument over who was more powerful.
} Now this.
} WHY DOES IT RAIN IN THE CITIES WHERE THERE ARE NO PLANTS?
} The question blinked on His terminal, over and over, for three
} hours as He paced his office. Finally, after staring at a hole in the
} rug for about fifteen minutes, He got up, turned off His terminal, and
} left the office.
} "Joanie, take a memo."
} "Sure, boss."
} "From Oracle to all personnel. As of today, I am relinquishing
} control of these operations to God. I plan to spend the rest of my
} eternal existence on a lovely beach in Betazed, where Lisa and I shall
} frolic in the waves until the sun goes supernova. So long."
} Joanie gasped. "Boss, You can't be serious!"
} "I am. Joanie, do you know what it's like to have to know all
} the answers and then put them into some semblance of scintillating
} prose? It's not very fun, and frankly, I'd rather be snorkeling."
} "Boss, do You know what God's like? His workers are miserable!
} They don't get any vacations, they're underpaid, and they don't even
} get free donuts on Fridays like we do! Do You really want to subject
} us to that kind of existence?"
} "Joanie, I'm burnt out. I can't think anymore; I can't summon
} the answers like I could in the good old days!"
} "When's the last time You had a vacation?"
} "Ummmm....half a milennia ago. I think. I had those darn
} hemorrhoids, and the doctors told Me to take a while off. I was back
} in two days."
} "Take a break, boss. Just go away for about three weeks, have
} fun, take Lisa and go off to some beach. We'll send form letters to
} everyone explaining the situation."
} "Get outta here, cowboy!"
} "Wow." The Oracle took a step, then looked back. "Hey, there's a
} question on the terminal right now--could you read it and compose a
} special letter?"
} "Sure. It'll reach them in about two years."
} "Great." The Oracle strode out of the office, then popped His
} head back in. "Chocolate donuts for everyone!"
} He laughed, free as a child, as He drove happily home.