} Within their hidding spot just behind the corner of a building,
} Batman turns suddenly: "Your absolutely right, Robin! To the Batcave!"
} (zippy music, and images of a car driving, played in fast motion to
} make it appear as if the car were actually driving fast)
} (Batman and Robin doing some kind of experiment, and at the same time
} playing with a 1960's style computer thing. A bell goes off).
} Batman: "Just as I suspected, Robin! The Commissioner's Wife's bridge
} was cleverly encased in this block of solid ice. All we need to do is
} to melt the block of ice, and the bridge will be saved. Come on,
} Robin, to the nuclear power plant!"
} (Batman and Robin leap into the Batmobile with the ice-encrusted dental
} work... zippy music, and images of a car driving, played in fast motion
} to make it appear as if the car were actually driving fast)
} (Batman and Robin within the Nuclear power plant, right next to the
} pool containing the radioactive fuel, glowing menacingly red, then
} Robin: "Holy saunabath, Batman! You're not going to immerse the block
} of ice into the pool of radioactive fuel?!?"
} Batman: "It's the only way to free the bridge from the ice without
} releasing the deadly anthrax-related plague virus, fiendishly coating
} every part of it's surface."
} Robin: "Wow."
} (suddenly, 6 burley men in ...
} ... sexy skintight costumes begin gyrating ^C
} Lisa, please give the keyboard back!
} Thank you.
} (suddenly, 6 burley men in stupid penguin costumes, that look oh so
} '60ish, surround the dynamic duo--the Penguin himself appears on the
} Penguin: "Wwann, Wwann, Wwann, what have we hear? Batman and Robin.
} Let's see if we can put a 'glow' in your cheeks, eh?"
} (the Penguin's men tie the Duo to a winch, hoist them out over the
} pool, and begin lowering them into the deadly liquid, which begins to
} bubble furiously, just to worry us).
} Sudden Voice from Nowhere: "How will the Duo get out of this one?!?
} Will they be able to save the bridge from destruction? Will they be
} able to prevent the Penguin from releasing his deadly toxins and
} killing the entire planet, if not universe? Or are the Duo destined to
} play it 'hot' while the Penguin plays it 'cool'?
} (final shot: the two, dangling, just about to touch the surface of the
} You owe the Oracle a potion that will cause Tim Burton to make *real*
} Batman movies, as seen on TV, and no more of this pseudo-gothic crap.