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} Listen closely now, because I'm going to tell you a...(Look suspiciously
} to the right, now to the left, now over your shoulder. You're alone,
} right?) ...SECRET. If you tell this to ANYONE else, your eyelids will
} instantly be swapped with your testicles, and you will look VERY silly.
} (You will also have to unzip your pants to walk down the street.) So
} DON'T tell anybody.
}
} All these deities everybody talks about--Cthulu, Artemis, Blibdoolpoolp,
} Quetzalquatl, Jove, Emacs, etc.--they're all just ONE ~VERY~ busy deity
} who does amphetamines to deal with all the spiritual traffic in the
} universe. (Similar to the way college students handle finals.) So, when
} I last talked to the Great One (named "Foo", by the way), sheit
} (she/he/it) was under the guise of Vishnu, but had just shot up, and
} temporarily forgot precisely what it was that Vishnu was supposed to DO.
} You may recall the SF Earthquake of '06? Well, ol' Vish was doing the
} zoning board, and Destroyed where he should have Preserved. SO, anyway,
} sheit being the Great God Foo and all, I believed hermit (her/him/it)
} when sheit said, "I am Vishnu the Destroyer!" and proceeded to destroy
} San Francisco.
}
} So don't blame ME.
}
} Oh, yes. And I believe that answers your first question, too.
}
} You owe the oracle a tsunami in South Dakota.
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