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} I'm so glad you asked me this. "Glad" isn't the word. Words cannot
} begin to express my depth of feeling about this. I will forward an
} appropriate response under separate cover. By the way, did you know
} your will is invalid?
}
} Anyway, to the question. A lesser being would respond (and indeed, as
} I well know, has responded) to this question by dodging the issue in
} one of several possible ways, as follows:
}
} a. "No."
} b. "Yes."
} c. "Your cipher does not confuse me. I know that what you really meant
} to ask was, `Why do birds sing?' "
} d. [Obfuscation] (references to "members" as members of parliament,
} poor puns on "remember," and so on).
} e. [Gratuitous zots, oblique and totally unnecessary woodchuck
} references, complaints about inadequate grovelling, etc]
}
} I am above all this. I know exactly what it is you want to know. It's
} dicks, isn't it? You tried to hide it, but in the end it always comes
} down to dicks. Just *once* I'd like to get away from it all. The WC
} one: a poor allegory for penis length. The Lisa paradigm: no
} explanation necessary. Birds singing: we all know *why* they're
} singing, don't we? I don't even need to mention the
} police-cruiser-windscreen one.
}
} I digress. You shall have your answer, but you really do need to take
} a good hard look at yourself, don't you? Oh God, now I'm doing it.
}
} To answer this question we simply need to demonstrate that there exists
} firstly a set containing dicks (let's not put too fine a point on it,
} although in your case it's hardly avoidable) of men (I love a good
} unnecessary redundancy) whose dicks (vide sup) have gotten them into
} trouble. This is easily done, and it's a big one. I know that, you
} don't have to remind me. But let's keep talking about your question,
} shall we? Let's call this set A.
}
} If now we can show that there is even one dick which is not included in
} that set, the answer to your question is clearly the simple option "a"
} above, although at least I've put a little effort into it.
}
} With very little thought (following your example here) I can cite one
} dick in particular belonging to, oh, let's just call him Mr. B. This
} dick can be thought of as being set B. Does set B intersect with set
} A? Does set A include set B? The answer is clearly "No," because the
} dick in question did not intersect with anybody for a period of time,
} least of all Mr B. When set B was attached to Mr B it was most
} certainly part of set A, perhaps the archetypal member of this set. It
} is, however, now a unique set which has redefined set theory. In fact,
} a whole new mathematical jargon had to be developed to describe this
} set. It did not intersect with set A, but did intersect with the lawn
} mower, leading to bisection, cross-section, infection, and insects, not
} to mention a particularly nasty incident involving the set of little
} old ladies who beat snakes to death with their umbrellas. As for Mr B,
} well, he now looks upon the "two-stroke lawnmower engine" in an
} entirely different and somewhat fond light.
}
} I hope this answers your question to your satisfaction. If not, what
} else can I say but: STIFF!
}
} You owe the Oracle a two-stroke handicap.
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