|
} Grumble, grumble -- Babs, get me the Pole on the phone . . .
}
} Right away, sir . . . [phone connection noises] . . . Okay, line 2
}
} Thanks. [picks up] Hi, it's me --
}
} Morozhenoj w potrzebie? Wlosz y --
}
} Um . . . sorry, your Holiness. [Hang-up] Babs, get me the *North* Pole,
} . . . okay . . . <mumble *@$#% temp secretaries $%#@$> Ah, there we go.
} Kriss?
}
} Look, I said you'll get your check Monday -- I'm dealing with a
} major elf crisis here . . .
}
} Uh, Kriss, it's me, Oracle. You know, Mt. Olympus, third house on the
} right, big red chimney, constant glow of omniscience . . . Right, well
} the postman screwed up again.
}
} You got a Dear Santa letter? Hell, I've got enough problems dealing
} with the letters I *got*, what with the creditors breathing down
} my neck, and half the elves running off to work for those bastards
} at Keebler, and --
}
} No, you don't understand --
}
} Look, just give the kid a lump of coal -- coal's cheap, and a hell
} of a lot more useful than some Nintendo gadget --
}
} No, no. I didn't get a letter addressed to you, I got one for one of
} your *reindeer* . . .
}
} Hmm . . . well, most of them are in Lapland right now, for the
} '94 Reindeer Games . . .
}
} This one's for Rudolf. See, it was addressed to "Big Rudy", but the
} guy's handwriting is bad, and the idiots at the post office read it as
} "Big Dude." Here, lemme show it to you. [Holds letter up to phone.]
}
} You call that an R?
}
} Hey, *I* didn't write it.
}
} *Sigh*. Okay, I'll pass it along . . . the guy should get a response
}
} -----------------------------------------------------------------------
} Memo:
} City of New York,
} Office of Mayor.
}
} Thank you for your question of _January 31_. In fact, I do have antlers
} and a tail, but I feel it is more important to emphasize that I also
} have a very shiny nose -- and, if you ever saw it, you would even say
} it glows. In these trying times of economic crisis and ethnic tension,
} I think the people of this great city should focus more on my nasal
} luminescence, and less on my categorization as a Reindeer-American.
} Thank you again for your concern, and my son Andrew says to say "Hi."
}
} Rudolf Giuliani,
} Mayor of the City of New York
} -----------------------------------------------------------------------
}
} along with your reply to his message -- maybe even mixed in with
} it, somewhere near the end.
}
} Thanks. [Click.]
}
} You owe the Oracle a package of New York Minute Rice.
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