|
} Zeus: What's up on the agenda next?
}
} Mars: Oh mighty Zeus, we have to create some form of atmospheric
} disturbances for the planet ..... may I suggest rains of fire from the
} heavens.
}
} Thor: Mars! You and your bloody fire everywhere. It was you that did
} volcanoes wasn't it?
}
} Mars: Shut up Thor, or I'll tell Zeus what you did to the sharks.
}
} Zeus: Stop whining you lot, we've got 15 more items to create before
} lunch.
}
} God: If I may make a suggestion, perhaps we could have a gentle warm
} precipitation of water once in a while to help the plants grow.
}
} Mars: It was you! You were the one who invented plants! I spent weeks
} designing that dry, lifeless, red earth and now there are green things
} sprouting all over it.
}
} Thor: I like the idea of water falling from the sky, but couldn't it be
} a little harder. Like something that would bonk the silly mortals on
} their puny little heads. Like this (thump! - a mortal screams) and this
} (thump!)
}
} Robert McElwaine, physicist: I don't understand, why would rain fall?
} You guys didn't create gravity did you? You can't do that, that'll KILL
} perpetual motion. I'm not having my IDEA$ swept under the carpet, I'll
} TELL EVERBODY what YOU'RE trying to DO!
}
} Aphrodite: Solid is OK, but it should fall down gently, to carpet the
} ground with pure white. Like these robes I'm wearing now, I got them
} from Asgard at a sale. What do you all think?
}
} Zeus: Very nice. But, we really need to design this weather thing.
}
} Waiter: Lunch is served, O immortal ones. Succulent herbs from the
} Garden of Eden. Prime roast unicorn. The finest wines. (thump!) OW!
}
} Zeus: (licks lips). Damn! We can't even agree on the weather, and 14
} things remain, and I'm famished.
}
} The Oracle: The answer is simple for those of us that know the art of
} compromise. We'll alternate hard rain, soft rain, and flakey rain. Beef
} up the volcanoes to give the occasional rain of fire, create Australia
} to keep Mars happy, and hey presto!
}
} Zeus: But, what about the other 14 items on the agenda?
}
} The Oracle: Chairs have four legs, we won't bother about strengthening
} the foundations for Atlantis, $25 an hour for no-holds barred erotic
} conversation with an attractive member of the opposite sex, 5 is a
} prime number, everything that can go wrong will go wrong and at the
} worst possible moment, hydrogen is lighter than air, mudskippers the
} missing link between fish and amphibians, 10 fingers on each hand and
} the same number of toes to keep it simple, 24 hours in one day, hmmm,
} that's not too many, better create some really strong caffeine-based
} drinks, have an ice age occasionally so the puny mortals don't need
} wings, make Hertz try harder, reduce the strength of continents so that
} we can create just one and let it float around a bit, and give man an
} inordinate attraction to frilly knickers and suspenders.
}
} All: (stunned silence for 0.4 seconds, followed by a rush for the
} dining room).
}
} Diana: Orrie! I thought we wouldn't be alone together for hours. What
} with those silly old immortals arguing about the combustibility of
} Lithium.
}
} The Oracle: The frilly knickers and suspenders?
}
} Diana: I'm wearing them. See.
}
} The Oracle: (turning to camera and grinning) Well, everybody likes to
} create in their own image. YEOW!
|
![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
