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} The history of flame wars go farther back than the Usenet itself does.
} Historical evidence conclusively shows that wherever the written word
} existed on a multipersonal level, flame wars have existed. A brief
} counter-chronological view:
}
} 1970s: In wake of a fledgeling telecomputing society, the emergence of
} local BBSs began. On the Gandalf's Den Tandy CoCo board in Cincinatti,
} OH, this began:
}
} Killer Karl: "Man, the President sucks."
} Frodo: "Shut up, Karl! Your mother sucks this year and every
} year, and she puts out for bus tokens!"
}
} 1920s: Radio is pioneered and commercialized, giving rise to a
} fledgeling radio market that would soon become known as HAM radio. We
} started to hear things like:
}
} Bob: Man, the President sucks. Over.
} Joe: No they don't! And if you want to talk about sucking, YOU
} suck the milk crud off Kaiser Wilhelm's mustache... (remainder
} of tirade edited for brevity)
} (The FCC would be founded later.)
}
} 1890s: The birth of two important milestones in the history of flame
} wars: the public bathroom and the ball-point pen. Thus:
}
} "Teddy Roosevelt is a snit."
} "Snit this, you redneck Know-Nothing"
} "You boys just finish your necessaries, and move along."
} "Who are you, pretty-boy? Some kind of English limpwrist?"
} And so on.
}
} 1770s: Newspapers become an important part of colonial America. Editors
} began expressing partisan opinions.
}
} Editor: "The king is a snit!"
} Letter to the Editor: "Ye jelly-testicled revolutionist half-wit!
} The king is NOT a snit!"
} Letter to the Letter writer: "Get ye off his case, ye Tory
} highbrow gutter whore! Snits do not come bigger than the King!"
} Et. Cie
}
} 10 B.C.s: The birth of religious flame wars began. Despite rampant
} illiteracy and scarcity of paint brushes, flamers still found ways to
} paint on doctor's offices:
}
} "Thou shouldst not abort thine fetuses!"
} "Get thee hence, fanatic! Wouldst that thy mother would have
} aborted thee!"
} And so on.
}
} 1,000,000 B.C.s: Technically, the written word didn't exist yet, but
} there were still flames.
}
} Og: (picture of well-endowed caveman killing a mastodon.)
} Zug: (picture of same well-endowed caveman doing naughty things
} under a mastodon).
} Og: (picture of same well-endowed caveman strangling the life out
} of another ill-endowed caveman for painting dirty things about
} him).
}
} In short, supplicant, your answer is: Flame wars go way back. And
} they'll probably be around in a different incarnation sometime in the
} near future.
}
} Marius X-127: *The universal emperor is a snit.*
} Jacob Z-774: *Oh, good one, limpbrain. Who let you on the Free
} Floating Telepathic Matrix with an IQ of only 305? Somebody
} feel sorry for you in the acceptance hearing?*
}
} You owe the Oracle a ball point pen and a roll of toilet paper.
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