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} The trouble with the prudish Englishman Tolkien is that he left out the
} *really* interesting parts of his tales. In many cases you can read
} between the lines, but in other cases you'll have to turn to the
} All-knowing Oracle to get the details. OK, here we go:
}
} Tom Bombadil and Goldberry had had a very long and happy relationship,
} mainly because of they both realizing that her sexual needs couldn't be
} satisfied by old Tom, who, though still strong, was entering his dotage.
} As is (actually) obvious from the book, Tom was more interested in
} watching young hobbits run around naked in the grass, anyway, so he
} didn't mind Goldberry'slittle adventures with various dwarves,
} woodcutters and vagrant wizards, as long as they were kept on a purely
} physical level.
}
} Tolkien does mention that Frodo fell in love with Goldberry's beuaty.
} What he doesn't mention is how much of the attraction resulted from the
} sight of her naked body under her semi-transparent dress (the use of
} underwear hadn't spread to those remote areas yet), and that Goldberry
} returned Frodo's compliments by repeated visits to his bedroom that
} night. The real reason for Frodo's staying two nights at Tom's house is
} of course readily apparent, given that background.
}
} Tolkien's books give many subjects to speculate about, such as "How did
} Saruman really breed his half-orc warriors?" and "What did *really*
} happen between Bilbo and Gollum when Bilbo got the Ring?". Tolkien
} writes about guessing riddles, but, as you know, he's not entirely to be
} trusted.
}
} You owe the Oracle an explanation of why the Wizard of Oz was so nice to
} little girls.
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