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} Anvils are made exclusively in the tiny European Principality of
} Anvillania. Anvillania (pop 3,400) is ruled by the much feared
} Triumverate of The Warners Three. Yakko is King. Wakko is the minister
} at arms. Dot's just cute! The official theme song of Anvillania is "Let
} the Anvil's Ring" .
}
} LET THE ANVILS RING
} (M: Richard Stone (Includes arrangements of traditional music
} and P. D. music by Richard Sanderson); L: Peter Hastings)
}
} "Let us introduce ourselves, O people of this land
} We are the Warner Brothers
} With sister close at hand
} I bet you all are wondering, who is this young unknown?
} And why am I inheriting the Anvilanian throne?
} Yes, why?
} Yes, why?
} Oh, please, please tell us why
}
} The bottom of the family tree starts with Yakko, that is me
} I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother
} Of the uncle's daughter's father of the nephew's sister's mother
} And my grandpa's only cousin was the king's daugh-ter's sib-ling
} But they're all gone, and that is why I am now your king!
}
} He is now our king!
} Yes! I am now your king! Repeat what I just said!
} Repeat what I just said!
} And let the anvils ring!
}
} Old King Yakko's mania was for Anvilania
} So good citizens I pledge to you I'll do the best that I can do
} For honor, country, and the king, let the anvils ring!
} Let the anvils ring!"
}
} Anvils are the only major industry. The state food is sitting in the
} fridge. The state bird has been censored and the state motto is "Hello
} Nurse!"
}
} The Anivillanian FDA POLO (Federal Department of Anvils, Pianos and
} Other Large Objects) has adopted the following guidelines on Anvil use.
}
} 1) Non-comic use of anvils is stricly prohibited in accordance with the
} Geneva conventions (24-63g)
} 2) Victims must be given proper notice before having anvils dropped on
} them - that they may a) look up b) look to the camera c) utter some
} comment of impending doom.
} 3) The victim must be allowed to raise the anvil that has dropped on
} his head long enough to say something inappropriately witty. This is a
} good time for a second anvil gag.
} 4) The dropping of anvils on women and children is strictly prohibited,
} in accordance with the Warner Conventions (6-78y)
} 5) Why for you drop big black anvil on my head?
}
} As of 1959, Anvillania is working under an exclusive shipping and
} distribution agreement with the ACME Corporation. ACME has been a
} leader in gadgetry since the early fifties, when their "Micro-magnet"
} sold 120,000 units and made ACME the most profitable cartoon
} conglomerate in the United States. For a current catalog, send $4.00 to
}
} ACME Catalog
} P.O. Box 666
} Death Valley, Calif
} 90210
}
} or, for an illustrated web catalog, visit
} http://www.acme.com/gadgets/anvils
}
} (Allow 4 days for delivery - and look out ... here it comes!)
}
} Some notices apply:
} 1) There have been several recalls concerning ACME products in the last
} 20 years. The speed control on the ACME Rocket Skates does not function
} properly. Deaths have occured as the result of slamming into the sides
} of mountains. The recoil on the ACME Super Springs is not properly
} calibrated. Deaths have occured as the result of slamming into the
} sides of mountains. Materials used in the making of the ACME Human
} Slingshot have proven to be defective. Detahs have occured as the
} result of slamming into the sides of mountains. The motor on the ACME
} Bat-Coptor has fuel blockage problems. Deaths have occured as the
} result of severe falls. The markings on the ACME Catapult have not been
} properly calibrated. Deaths have occured as the result of falling
} boulders. The ACME Pest Control Robot has flipped its wig. Run for
} cover!!!!!
} 2) ACME will not be held responsible for any loss of wages, limbs or
} lives resulting from the use or misuse of ACME products.
} 3) All products come with a 3 day guarantee. Simply return the gadget,
} in its original box, to the adress listed above for a total refund.
} 4) So if you want to be a cartoon villain bring your Visa Card, 'cause
} at ACME Gadgets, they won't take your complaints, and they won't take
} American Express.
}
} You owe the Oracle an ACME super mini-magnet.
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