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} Hmmm... this is, of course, a question of opinion and not of fact; of
} course, my opinions are considered by most intelligent species in this
} universe as being facts, but that's the price I pay for being as really
} nifty as I am.
}
} Now, having said all that:
}
} 1) Star Trek: The Original Series -- episode title "The Trouble with
} Rye Bread"
}
} Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise encounter Cyrano Jonestein, a
} traveling baker and general pain in the ass, who has with him a
} "harmless" species of rye bread that reproduces itself and makes
} obnoxious "coo"-ing noises. Klingons hate rye bread, everything is
} tense for about 42 minutes, and in a really funny scene Kirk gets
} clobbered by 137,327 slices of rye bread.
}
} 2) Star Trek: The Next Generation -- episode title "Where No Bread Has
} Gone Before"
}
} Picard and the crew of the Enterprise encounter the Borgsteins, a
} cruel race of bakers that encorporate other species into their bread
} recipies. They capture Picard and damn near toast him. The Enterprise
} fires a modified cream cheese spread beam at the Borg ship, along with
} some Photon Bagels, everything is tense for about 42 minutes, and the
} Borg go away.
}
} 3) Star Trek: Voyager -- episode title "Rye Are We Always Going The
} Wrong Way"
}
} Janeway and the crew of the Enterprise... uh, I mean, Voyager... do
} something really stupid and try to kill off a species of rye bread
} thinking it is some natural phenomena that will give them more energy
} to get home. The rye bread takes over the ship, Nelix almost serves
} the Rye Ambassador as breakfast to the crew, and everything is really
} tense for about 42 minutes until the holographic doctor figures out
} what's going on.
}
} 4) Star Trek: Deep Space 9 -- episode title "The Words of the Prophets
} Are Written On the Subway Walls"
}
} Siskel and the crew of the Ent... ah, Deep Space Nine... find
} pieces of Rye Bread coming thru the wormhole from the Delta Quadrant.
} Quark tries to make a buck (or pressed latinum) from it, Odo tries to
} shapeshift into it, and the Bejorans try praying to it. Things never
} get tense... it's a boring show anyway.
}
} Oh, Rye Bread could be used in the even numbered Star Trek movies (II,
} IV, & VI), but in a very subtle way -- you'd never notice it. In Star
} Trek: The Motion Picture, the part of V'ger would be played by a loaf
} of Rye Bread. In Star Trek III: Search for Spock, Spock's essence
} wouldn't be found in McCoy but in a loaf of... you guess it. In Star
} Trek V: The Stupid Movie... oh, I can't even bring myself to speculate
} how they would use it, but I assure you it would have been awful (but
} might have made the move slightly more tolerable than what they DID
} release).
}
} You owe the Oracle a dozen nude photos of the cute blonde on Voyager,
} and a Reuben sandwich set on Kill.
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