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The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What are matrixes good for?  ?Andy why is is it so funny to multiply > them?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Congratulations, Andy, you have STUMPED THE ORACLE!!  Your prize } package, consisting of one-half of the items received in payment for } previous answers, will be delivered to you via US Snail.  Expect to see } it, oh, sooner or later.  Once again, my heartiest congratulations!! } } (Let me remind all contestants that no question may be used twice in } this contest.  Therefore, I ask you to add this question to your list of } "questions without answers", this one should be #83.  If you don't have } the list, it is available via ftp from oravax.cs.athens.edu.)

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Where was you during the first two weeks in November and why didn't you > get my other questions?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Although the oracle is all-knowing he cannot always receive your } messages due to line failures between here and your host.  Your messages } were lost in the mail. } } I knew what your questions were but they have to be submitted to me by } the strict protocol set up by my acolytes at iuvax.  This keeps me from } having to answer EVERY question everyone has.  By being explicit by } sending the mail, having it translated by the programs here, and having } your question printed on 24lb bond paper on my laser printer (since I } have trouble reading these blasted tiny screens) you are assured of an } accurate and trouble-free response. } } Besides, those questions were given to underlings as they were fairly } simple. } } Question #1:  "What do I do with gonads and what are they for." } } Answer #1:  "They are expressly for the propagation of species, use them } to increase your local population, but only if you can support the } offspring.  Any other activity would be immoral and costly to society as } a whole." } } Question #2:  "Seriously, what is sex like?" } } Answer #2:  "There's a lot of sweating, grunting, cyclic movement, and } then a bright light." } } Question #3:  "Can you be more specific?" } } Answer #3:  "Yes." } } So you should be happy now.  I abridged the protocol and answered you } questions even though they were caught up and lost in a networking test } at MIT. } } Have a nice day. } } This has been a recording. } } You owe the oracle a VSAT network.

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> If you've ever played hack (who hasn't?) you've noticed those nasty > nymphs who keep teleporting aroound the dungeon, walking up to you and > seducing you with their good looks, then robbing you blind and leaving > you there, looking like a fool. > > A strange thing is that even if you've explicit told the computer your > player is a woman (by setting the FEMALE flag), she still will be > seduced by the nymphs. > > Does this mean that all female hack players are lesbians?  (Male nymphs > sounds like a contradiction).

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The nymphs ARE male, in the Monty Python sense.  They dress up as cute } guys to seduce the women.  I think there was a movie about this once.  I } believe your character has to be male, then set the CASTRATE flag, and } the nymphs should leave you alone.

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>       How can I overcome my fear of Rosanne Barr?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You CAN'T!  SHE IS EVERYWHERE.  Rosanne Barr is the inverse of Lisa, our } net.sex.goddess.  Rosanne Barr is our net.sexless.nogoddess.

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O Oracle, most Oracle-like and wise, > > Why is life confusing?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Life is not confusing, my child.  It comes with instructions.  Trust me, } I and Mrs.  Oracle were playing Life just the other evening.  Oh, I } admit, some of the squares are a tad silly, like 'buying a skunk farm,' } but, hey, with Milton Bradleys money I suppose that he can put whatever } he wishes in those squares. } } Don't tell Mrs.  Oracle, but I rigged the spinner so that I'm always a } Doctor.

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why do girls wear a *pair* of panties but only *one* bra?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Because most girls have two groins but only one breast.  How dumb can } you get?

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What is?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} That is that which is not that which is not.

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Which are the most important news groups?  I haven't got time to read > all of them.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} rec.misc } rec.humor.d (all subjects "Usenet Oracle") } rec.arts.sex } rec.arts.picasso } sci.sensuality } sci.spacebar } sci.oracle } comp.sources } comp.sys.iuvax } rec.humor } rec.humor.funny } talk.bizarre } talk.oracle.acolytes } net.sex.goddess } nj.pollution } } and our favorite } } rec.humor.oracle } } You owe the oracle a uucp clone.

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Most revered of deities, I humbly ask for your guidance in my dilemma. > My question is this:  How do I know if my question is worthy of your > pondering?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You should, of course, ask a reliable source.  I am the most reliable } source for this matter.  So, you should ask "Is the question `...' worth } pondering?" Of course, this is not always a worthy question, so ...

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> If I lived my life over again, would I still be a neurotic anorexic > ballet dancer?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It all depends on the path you choose.  Perhaps you will have sex } earlier in life next time and avoid the confidence problems that made } you anorexic. } } Perhaps you will no longer feel the need for grace and precision and } avoid taking ballet lessons. } } Perhaps you will never hear of the oracle and won't be neurotic! } } You owe the oracle an alternate reality.