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} In response to your question, one must first consider that making a
} girl orgasm is a very different (and far more complicated) task than
} making a boy orgasm. First, you must gather the required ingredients:
}
} The larynx of an emu on acid which was killed by a giant chipmunk.
} The heart of a small child (preferably in a jar).
} The liver of a two-headed humanoid which died after drinking three Pan-
} Galactic Gargle Blasters.
} The brain of an artificially intelligent robot which NASA created three
} months ago, but which it is not planning to declassify for at least
} another three years.*
} The spleen of any convenient protozoan.
} The spine of a Hooloovoo.
} 3 hamsters.
} 5 rolls of duct tape.
} Ten pairs of those really annoying fuzzy dice.
} A printout of the entire traffic of the USENET from one day (or, if
} this cannot be obtained, a printout of the traffic from comp.*
} should work nearly as well).
}
} You will also need some equipment:
} 1 "Big Bob's Economy Size Cloning Machine and Incubator."
} A large pot.
} A very large, very loud drum.
}
} Now that you have everything you need, the following steps must be
} performed:
} 1. Dump everything, except for the fuzzy dice, into the pot, and carry
} it to the top of the nearest convenient hill. (Be sure to dump the
} heart out of its jar -- many perfectly good girl orgasms are
} screwed up when this is forgotten.)
} 2. (This step is what actually creates the girl orgasm, and can only
} be performed by an insecure, male virgin (you should be able to do
} it easily).) Beat the drum in a slow, steady rhythm, while
} chanting, as loudly as possible (in fact, yell more than chant) "I
} am NOT a virgin! I am NOT a virgin! I am NOT a virgin!"
} 3. Continue step two until midnight during a full moon, or the police
} arrest you for disturbing the peace.
} 4. Go back, and retrieve the pot.
} 5. Place the small, tribble-like thing in the pot in Big Bob's Economy
} Size Cloning Machine and Incubator for ten to fifteen minutes, or
} until golden brown.
} 6. Your little girl orgasm should now be wandering around, generally
} making a nuisance of itself, making messes on the furniture, and so
} forth.
} 7. For the first three days, feed it a pair of fuzzy dice three times
} a day. After three days, it will be ready to eat its natural food,
} Deveels, so be sure you have a steady supply on hand.
}
} You should be able to create about three girl orgasms, on a good night,
} if you have everything you need already laid out.
}
} You owe the Oracle Big Bob's Economy Size Cloning Machine and
} Incubator, three hamsters, five rolls of Duct tape, and ten good
} grovels.
}
} * Those at NASA who actually know about this robot, which has an IQ of
} approxamately 300, will prevent all of NASA's funding from
} disappearing in the next ten years. It will, however, fail, and in
} the year 2010 the world will be taken over be invading aliens from
} Betelguese. Fortunately for Earth, Betelgueseans are kind beings, and
} will actually raise human civilization up about five levels before
} enslaving the population.
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