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} You know, grovels these days are starting to get kind of annoying.
} I mean, with "wonderful and wise", you're spot on, if a little
} understated, but "whose powers are so mighty"???
}
} I'm an Oracle, not a God! I'm Omniscient, not Omnnipotent!
}
} My contract specifically states that as long as I answer questions
} posed by you mortals, I shall be granted Omniscience and Immortality.
} If only they'd granted the Omniscience before I'd signed on.
} Sheesh. I mean, talk about your fine print!
}
} You'd think that with immortality might come eternal youth, right?
} I did. Big mistake! I mean, I'm 87 thousand years old, and I look
} and feel like it.
}
} Can you imagine what my arthritis feels like???
} (Note: that was a rhetorical question. Obviously, I know the answer:
} that your puny brain is incomprehensible of imagining such pain).
}
} "Powers?" Ha! I mean, 87 thousand years ago, right after I took this
} job, I knew that, today, I'd be sitting here, in sub-zero Indiana,
} complaining about my arthritis, right after going through a streak of
} 14 consecutive w**dch*ck questions, but did I have the power to change
} anything?
}
} Let me explain something to you. You see, in nature, knowledge and
} power are opposites. The more you have of one, the less you can have
} of the other. (Yes this is similar to the way your brilliant
} scientists and engineers are all managed by idiots. Stop
} interrupting). The powerful gods that you mortals worship are some
} of the most idiotic beings in the universe.
}
} I mean, I mean, you're wondering how I manage to ZOT all those people
} who ask the unaskable, when I have no powers. I just tell Zeus that
} his wife is in love with them. And he always believes me! He's so
} jealous that if I told him that his wife loved him, he'd kill himself.
}
} Enough ranting for now. On to your question:
}
} > How come they call a driveway a driveway when you park on it, and a
} > parkway a parkway when you drive on it?
}
} Even in your feeble mind, the light of understanding is starting to
} glimmer.
}
} Yes, the people who created the nouns like "driveway" and "parkway",
} were very powerful, as they would influence the ways in which
} millions of people think, just by choosing the words.
}
} Hence, they were idiots.
}
} You owe the Oracle a year's supply of pain-killers.
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