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} Lay off the coffee. You know what they say, it's the first cup that
} gets you wired. Because then you just can't stop. You should know
} you're reaching your limit when you've had six or seven 32 oz. cups, a
} small smile creeps across your face and turns into a gigantic grin for
} no reason at all, and there's a path worn in the carpet from your desk
} to the restroom. You should really consider treatment if you find
} yourself throwing a childlike fit with grown-up words every time
} someone empties the pot and doesn't make more, and then you start
} making regular in the decaf pot so that no one else will drink it,
} except for those wierd people who actually like the taste but not the
} caffeine. You're at rock bottom when you crawl into the office and
} start drinking the cold, left-over brew from the day before, chewing on
} the floating chunks of non-dairy creamer which can't dissolve at room
} temperature. That night you go home and get in bed, but you toss and
} turn, wake up, and watch lousy old movies. You try sleeping pills, but
} all you get is a restless, nervous sleep, filled with dreams that Juan
} Valdez is in your bedroom, and you chase him all through the house
} trying to take away his aromatic hand-picked beans. Waking up in
} sweat, you realize that it's 4:00am, and maybe you could get another 2
} hours of sleep if only the visions would leave you alone. If only you
} had listened to the Oracle. "Lay off the coffee," he said, "lay off
} the coffee."
}
} You owe the Oracle a gallon-sized coffee mug.
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