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} Oddly enough, one tends to effect the other, but both are a symptom of
} a much wider problem, that of trendyism. Trendyism pops up in every
} decade and is best discovered by some common thread that effects its
} victims.
}
} For instance, in the fifties, people played with hoola hoops a lot and
} used the word "swell", in the sixties people took lots of hallucinogenic
} drugs and called everyone "man". Sadly, in the seventies, a lot of
} people experimented with pop religions, (est, I'm okay, you're slime)
} and kept asking "What's the Bottom line?".
}
} So the eighties is no different, people eat foods such as sushi and
} sing songs about wakizashis. These same people name their children
} "Gavin" or "Zenith" and spend a lot of time using crystal therapy to
} improve their health. You my son/daughter are a unique person. Why,
} because you have questioned your behavior. It is time to begin your
} rights of passage as a neophyte into the greater wisdom, known in the
} secrete places of the most high Pantheon as the Two Roads.
}
} You must decide which road you wish to journey on. One road is known
} as the Zappa Trail. Here you will realize that basically, everyone is
} either a chump or a jerk, that "Broken Hearts are for Assholes" and to
} "Shutup and play yer guitar". This is the humble road. A still voice
} crying in the forrest saying "Ram it up yer poop shoot". You will not
} be like the others but you will be a light of wisdom. You will also not
} go to many parties and you can forget about getting laid, unfortunately.
} This is the price of enlightenment.
}
} The second road is all too easily traveled. This road is known as the
} Ivan Boesky Quick Buck Highway to Heck. Here you do not look inward to
} find the answer. You analyse market reports and graphs of societal
} trends to find out what the majority in the 1990's will be fixated upon.
} If you get the info quick enough, you invest, invest, invest. If you
} are correct you make a killing and spend the rest of your life on cable
} TV hawking your very own get rich quick scheme. But beware, the ghost
} of the boob who is still sitting on a warehouse of Cabbage Patch Dolls
} calls out to you saying "Don't Fuck It Up". Make sure you are right,
} don't get caught with your Bell Bottoms down.
}
} Well, there it is my son/daughter, true enlightenment. Which is it
} going to be? True wisdom or cool cozy gaudiness. I see. Well, I wish
} I could say I'm suprised. Pick up your Real Estate Investment Packet
} and some VO-5 for your hair and I'll see you Sunday Night on the USA
} network, sell, sell, sell.
}
} You owe the Oracle a BMW and a blank check ......
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