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} Once upon an email dreary, while I slogged through, weak and weary
} Over many a dull and boring printout lying on the floor
} While I answered, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a beeping
} As if email inward creeping, creeping on to disk drive 4
} "'Tis some supplicant," I muttered, "Filling up my disk drive 4 --
} Only this and nothing more."
}
} Ah, distinctly I remember, 'twas the 16th of September
} And each woodchuck I dismembered left its ghost upon the floor
} Eagerly I sought the morrow, vainly hoped a day to borrow
} From my mail a lack of sorrow, sorrow always found before
} From the woodchuck chucking question I had e'er heard before
} Answered once, for evermore
}
} Sad was I, and yet so certain that the question would be hurtin'
} Chilled me -- filled me with a great annoyance often felt before;
} So that now, to still the fire, said I there in all my ire
} "'Tis some supplicant anoying me with woodchucks on my floor
} Some poor supplicant annoying me with woodchucks on my floor
} This it is and nothing more."
}
} Presently my will grew stronger, putting off my task no longer
} Clicking open message waiting there upon my disk drive 4
} For the fact is, I was blaming supplicants for all my flaming
} And I opened up the message like so many times before
} Opened up it there and read it like so many times before
} Question there and nothing more
}
} Deep into that message reading, tale of cat who must be needing
} Therapy or maybe Prozac like no kitty cat before
} For this cat would drink of water that it knows it shoulndn't ought'er
} And would torment dog that caught her till the wife would hit the floor
} This the message and the question sitting there on disk drive 4
} Merely this and nothing more
}
} Back into my task now turning, and my heart within me burning
} Soon again my fingers typing somewhat faster than before
} "Surely," said I, "Surely answer will from hands come forth like dancer
} Let me see, then, how to do it as this supplicant implores
} Let my fingers answer truly as this supplicant implores
} This I'll do, and nothing more!"
}
} Open'd here I all my textbooks, but with many a curse and vexed look
} Found I nothing there of felines who would torture doggies poor
} Not the smallest reference found I to relieve that faithful hound, I
} Followed footnotes all around, I threw the volume to the floor
} Threw it down among the woodchucks scattered dead upon the floor
} Thought I then a little more
}
} And the question still beguiling all my flaming into smiling
} Reaching 'cross the table there to press a button pressed before
} While the Oracle was thinking, started then a message blinking
} Cast a calm and soothing blinking light outside upon the shore
} Calling in some extra wisdom who was swimming at the shore
} Came in Lisa through the door
}
} Much she marvelled at the question, still she had her no suggestion
} How to calm the psycho feline who the husband did adore
} And we could not help agreeing that no normal human being
} Should be ever cursed with seeing cat upon the bathroom floor
} Drinking water from the toilet as it ever had before
} Then quoth Lisa, "Nevermore"
}
} And the Or'cle, much befuddled, turned to Lisa feeling muddled
} That one word, as though an answer in that word did she outpour
} Nothing further then she uttered. "But-but-but..." I sort of stuttered
} Till I scarely more than muttered "What's that mean? I do implore!
} For the question must I answer, as with other ones before."
} Then quoth Lisa, "Nevermore"
}
} Then she said as I sat frozen that her word was truly chosen
} For the cat, said she, was acting as it always had before
} Driving crazy then it's master who can deal with this disaster
} Moving fast and closing faster, shutting up the bathroom door
} For the splashing of the toilet will be shut as ne'er before
} Drinks the kitty never more!"
}
} And then Lisa still beguiling my confusion into smiling
} Straight she wheeled upon her sandal and went back outside the door
} Then upon my chair left sitting, answer from my fingers spitting
} For the supplicant, teeth gritting at this kitty on the floor
} How to deal with cat who drank in this unseemly way before
} What to do for evermore
}
} Thus I sat, my thought expressing, so the wife would not be guessing
} At the cat who drinks from toilet and would torture doggie poor
} This and more I sat defining, lying there at ease reclining
} On the chair in front of keyboard that the monitor glowed o'er
} With cans of Jolt and snack food that the monitor glowed o'er
} And the woodchucks? Nevermore!
}
} Then, methought the dog would manage to get cat with minor damage
} Thus inflicted on the cat with only tooth and bark and claw
} "Heh," I thought, "the cat deserves it for the manner that it serves it
} Never gives a moments respite to the doggie on the floor.
} Respite, respite and a night when kitty is not climbing o'er
} It shall climb there nevermore
}
} Prophet am I, thing of knowledge! Prophet still, worth more than
} college Whether answers come internal or from Lisa on the shore
} Brilliant I, and still undaunted on this Internet enchanted
} In my home by woodchucks haunted, speak I truly as implored
} There is -- there is peace ahead now, tell you I as you implore
} From the madness, evermore
}
} Prophet am I, thing of knowledge! Prophet still, worth more than
} college By that question that you ask me, on that cat that he adores
} Tell I you with questions loaded that the answer you have goaded
} It shall stop as I have noted splashing water on the floor
} Stop its drinking from the toilet and annoying doggie poor
} And annoy you nevermore
}
} By this word, be still thy crying, supplicant, and cease the sighing
} Stop the kitty drinking water by the shutting of the door
} Leave the dog to deal undaunted if the feline leaves it haunted
} Leave it battered, still and broken, stripped of life upon the floor
} Let it take the little bastard and then throw it out the door!
} To be bothered nevermore
}
} And the Or'cle, never greedy, always ready (always needy)
} On this Internet is ready as has been since days of yore
} As your eyes read now the answer, Oracle becomes entrancer
} For you owe but for this chance, sir, things of torturing galore
} Pendulum you owe to to pay me, and a pit dug in the floor
} Or be answered -- nevermore!
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