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} Egad, the answer to this could take BOOKS. Let me see if I can
} abbreviate it for you.
}
} One Perot is needed for each task listed, unless otherwise specified:
} * To analyze the old lightbulb from its manufacture to the point at
} which it burned out.
} * To analyze the original cost for the lightbulb.
} * To analyze the cost of a NEW lightbulb.
} * To analyze the difference in life expectancies of the new lightbulb
} against the old lightbulb.
} * (3) to analyze the feasibility of using a NEW lightbulb.
} * (3) to analyze the feasibility of repairing the OLD lightbulb.
} * (3) to analyze the feasibility of switching the socket to something
} more energy-efficient.
} * (3) to analyze the feasibility of leaving the OLD socket the way it
} is.
} * To file the lawsuit against the old bulb, saying that he was not
} involved in the decision-making process of whether it could burn out
} or not.
} * To demand that the lawsuit be speedily pushed through the court
} system.
} * To file the appeal when he loses the first lawsuit.
} * To demand that the appeal be speedily pushed through the court
} system.
} * To make the final decision as to whether, based on cost-analysis
} studies, whether the bulb to be screwed into place (hereinafter and
} forthwith thereto referred to as "replacement bulb") shall be the
} "new bulb" or a repaired "old bulb."
} * To write the press release indicating the nature of the replacement
} bulb.
} * To write the script for the 3 hour television show, paid for with his
} own money, to discuss with the general public why it was a good
} decision to use the bulb now designated as "replacement bulb."
} Telephone calls will be accepted from viewers on an 800 line.
}
} Realize, however, that we haven't even BEGUN to place the replacement
} bulb into the socket. Perot's are now needed:
} * To confirm that the replacement bulb will fit within the socket.
} * To coordinate another 3 hour television show to show the actual
} replacement bulb being placed, live. Once again, telephone calls
} will be accepted from viewers on an 800 line.
} * To confirm that the replacement bulb will have a comparable number of
} lumens as the original bulb.
} * To determine the cost of a ladder to use in the bulb replacement.
} * To determine if the cost of the ladder is cost-effective versus
} just not replacing the bulb. [At this point, we will assume that
} it is indeed cost-effective.]
} * To determine the appropriate method of removing the original bulb.
} * To determine the appropriate method of inserting the replacement
} bulb.
} * To remove the original bulb.
} * (2) to hold the ears of the Perot that is removing the bulb out of
} the way.
} * To insert the replacement bulb.
} * (2) to hold the ears of the Perot that is inserting the bulb out of
} the way.
} * To hold a press conference to explain the ins and outs of replacing
} the bulb.
}
} Finally, Perot's are needed:
} * To put the ladder away.
} * To dispose of the original bulb, if appropriate, in a cost-effective
} manner.
} * To perform a final cost analysis of the entire venture.
} * To determine where costs could be cut in the next bulb replacement.
} * To determine if so many Perot's are needed in the future.
} * To write the final press release explaining the entire procedure --
} in summary, of course.
} * To produce the final 3 hour show which does the same thing as the
} summary press release. Once again, calls from the general public are
} accepted on an 800 line.
} * To explain why the American people benefitted from him spending his
} own money for the whole procedure.
} * To say "Goodnight America."
}
} If I count correctly, that's 46. Oh, one more to determine the
} appropriate salaries for each Perot, including himself. That's 47.
}
} You owe the Oracle a 1,378 page report explaining all the aspects of
} replacing a bulb as listed above, with a table of contents, glossary,
} index, bibliography (text must include footnotes or endnotes), and
} hardbound so that it may stand the test of time.
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