} Hmmm...ok one of the Better Grovels We have seen this year...(kicks
} Staff of ZOT under the magazine rack )...err...Lisa?!!!
} Lisa: (from the next room) Yes Orrie Dear?
} Orrie:" Er, could you tell me why you hog the bathroom for 4 hours just
} before we have to either go out, OR go to sleep at night?"
} Lisa: " What???"
} Orrie: (pitching voice to carry two rooms over) "Aww honey, I just
} wanna know why you spend so much time getting ready to look xtra
} gorgeous ALL the time? Oh yeah, and why you always wear the see-thru,
} tan-thru spandex jumpsuit EVERY time we go skiing?"
} "...err I gotta supplicant on the line here..."(dribbling off
} Lisa pads barefoot into TV lounge where Orrie sits. She is wearing one
} of Orrie's old T shirts that says Hard Rock Cafe-Asgard/Mt. Olympus.
} The shirt is smeared with green splatters of a substance that is mashed
} on to her face, making her look like a diminutive version of The
} Incredible Hulk.
} Lisa's hair is in rollers, and she is holding a bottle of Generic Brand
} Xtra Strength Creme Hair Bleach. She is wearing faded pink leggings
} that are pushed up to her knees, and the calves of her legs are covered
} in shaving cream.
} Upon seeing his lady love thus arrayed, The Great Oracle temporarily
} forgets where he is, pushes his armchair as far away from the
} apparition as it will roll, stands, and snatches up the Staff of ZOT.
} Its familiar fingergrips and the smell of slightly charred suppplicant
} bring The Great Oracle back to himself.
} Lisa: (scowling, so the green face mask cracks in several most
} unattractive places)
} "You mean LIKE THIS???" It takes me 2 hours just to get this crud ON
} and another 2 hours to chisel it off....and YOU're asking me WHY I do
} AND, You're going to tell a SUPPLICANT my (no, take that back) MY
} personal BEAUTY secrets?? You've got a LOT of NERVE!
} Maybe, just maybe I shouldn't bother to take this crud OFF next time we
} go on a date. THAT way, YOU can have an extra 2 hours in the bathroom
} instead of me!!!!!!!"
} Lisa pushes her furious, mud-bedaubed face up to The Great Oracle. She
} grabs the Staff of ZOT from his nerveless fingers with one hand, and
} uses the other hand (sporting four inch nails painted black) to shove
} The Great Oracle back into his armchair.
} Lisa aims the Staff at The Great Oracle and pushes the first button her
} fingers land on.
} Orrie: "AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!NOT the Rapid Fire Mode!!!! LISA!!!"
} The Great Oracle manages to cower behind his armchair, temporarily out
} of range of the blinding flares of the Staff's discharges. Not
} surprisingly, Zadoc apologetically moves over to make room for him.
} Zadoc: "Master, if Thou Wishes, I can absorb the Punishment that she is
} dishing out, IF you cut me a break next time around..???"
} The Great Oracle is too absorbed in examining his shredded clothing and
} scorched areas of his persona and doesn't hear Zadoc's whiny offering.
} Lisa drops the Staff of ZOT, kicks it under the TV, and folds her arms.
} Most of her curlers have come unrolled and slimy strands of long,
} bleached ash blond hair, its color hardly visible under blue sticky
} gunk, is smearing blue tattoos on to the back of the T Shirt, obscuring
} the "Bullfinches Not Served Here" logo.
} Lisa: "And, I thought you LIKED it when I got a full body tan in
} winter...you never think that I might be freezing to death in those
} outfits....(squeezes out a sob)...I just wanted to be PERFECT for
} On this final wailing note, Lisa runs from the room. The sound of two
} or three doors slamming echoes her progress.
} The Great Oracle and Zadoc look at each other.
} Zadoc: "Master....I offer my humble self to be ZOTTed in retribution for
} the indignity heaped upon Your Wondrous Person...."
} The Great Oracle: "Okay, put yourself down for a double portion of ZOT,
} next time the opportunity presents itself. I'm a little ragged right
} " ..errm.... hope you don't mind?"
} Zadoc: (relieved) "Don't mention it"
} You owe The Great Oracle the following items:
} Body armor
} A second bathroom
} The Avon Lady
} A separate armchair for Zadoc to cower behind next time
} A new Staff of ZOT with a single user license, and individual password.