} Oracle: First, I shall create an idyllic tropical island.
}
} [[With a flash and a bang, the Oracle, Marc, and Bill are hovering over
} a remote spot in the Pacific Ocean. With a rumble, an island appears
} from the waves, already formed, with palm trees and ukulele background
} music.]]
}
} Marc: Wow. Is that VRML?
}
} Bill: No, it must be my proprietary extensions to Java.
}
} Oracle: No. Now, I shall populate it.
}
} [[Several attractive women of various shapes, sizes, and skin and hair
} tones walk out from behind a large palm tree. Marc and Bill look at
} each other, their aggression pheromones rising.]]
}
} Marc: But there's no way you're getting me to live there.
}
} Bill: Me neither.
}
} Oracle: Oh, of course, how could I forget?
}
} [[A cluster of various kinds of desktop computers, from Pentium Pro
} systems running Windows NT, to NeXT cubes, to Sun workstations, to
} BeBoxen materializes on a table on the beach. A 100baseT drop box
} sprouts from a palm tree, and a twisted-pair cable snakes over from the
} computer cluster to insert itself in the network outlet.]]
}
} Bill: Ah, much better. Can I smash the NeXT cube?
}
} Marc: Hey, don't do that. Just because your software isn't
} compatible...
}
} Bill: [whining] Oh, all right... Now what, Orrie?
}
} Oracle: Bill, you don't get to call me "Orrie."
}
} [[The Oracle takes out a large metal safe with a slot in the top.]]
}
} Oracle: Now, I believe in the capitalist system. Whoever offers me the
} most money for the island gets to live there forever, never aging.
}
} Marc: That's no fair! Bill is the richest man in the world!
}
} [[Bill snickers and grins and pulls out a large checkbook. Marc shrugs
} and follows suit. Both scribble out checks and drop them in the
} safe.]]
}
} Oracle: And now we'll see who gets the island...
}
} [[The Oracle opens the safe and removes the checks.]]
}
} Oracle: Marc bid a million dollars. Bill bid ten million. Bill gets
} the island.
}
} [[Bill disappears from the air and appears on the island below.]]
}
} Bill: Ha! I win!
}
} [[The Oracle and Marc disappear, and rematerialize in the Oracular
} Temple.]]
}
} Marc: But Mr. Oracle, sir, you didn't give me a fair chance!
}
} Oracle: I don't think you wanted it. Watch.
}
} [[A terminal screen flickers to life and shows Bill sitting at the
} Windows NT machine, being given a massage by seven of the women. He
} presses a few keys, and the computer emits a foul sound. A window
} appears...]]
}
} Computer: That domain is not accessible. You may use only systems in
} the domain msn.com.
}
} Bill: Aargh! Any of you ladies know how to crack systems?
}
} [[The terminal screen fades. The Oracle reaches over to his shiny new
} Power Mac and ejects a Jaz disk. He writes "Bill Gates" on the label
} and files it away on a shelf.]]
}
} Oracle: Ah, the world is safe again. Time for a Guinness. Marc, you
} owe me a mention in an Easter egg in the next version of Netscape.
}
} Marc: Aw, sure.
|