} Let's see now, in addition to the IRS and the Kwik-E Motel bill, I have
} this... What is this? - oh, let's see - Hmm, this one's been
} sitting here for a while... (blows the dust off) ...Ah yes, from a
} Mister Lindburgh; wonder if he ever found that kid of his? ...(shuffle
} shuffle) Well, crud. I can't seem to find that note from the pickle
} company... Oh, here it is!... no, it's an endorsement request for Lisa
} from the Dura-Lube company... What would they want with her?
} ...(shuffle shuffle shuffle) Nope, not here. Okay, then where'd I
} leave that jar of Vlasics... Ah!
}
} By gum, they ARE rather packed in there now, aren't they? Let's just
} have a look at the label here... Serving Size 1 ounce (about 1
} pickle... imagine that... ), Servings Per Container Usually 13... what
} do they mean Usually? Ingredients: cucumbers, water, distilled
} vinegar, salt, dehydrated garlic, calcium chloride, polysorbate 80,
} natural flavors (really?) and yellow 5. Nope, nothing there...
}
} (Suddenly a light switches on; a dim one, to be sure, but a light
} nevertheless!)
}
} Supplicant... Yes, you.
} It's a simple marketing strategy, you foolish human (now THERE'S a
} redundant phrase!) If they sprang for a larger jar they'd not only pay
} more for jars, they'd take up more shelf space to sell the same amount
} of product. As for soaking your fingers, USE A FORK, YOU %&@!# HOMO
} SAPIENS!! <{crash}> Damn..
}
} You owe the Oracle a new jar of pickles.
}
} Now where'd I leave that towel...
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