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} Ahhh, you remind me of my childhood! Let's see now, how did this go?
} Oh yes!
}
} OH THE WIND WAS DARK AND PURPLE
} ON THAT DAY WHEN LIGHTS WERE BLACK,
} AND THE WOLVES THEY CAME A-HOWLING
} WHEN THE EGGPLANTS THEY ATTACKED.
}
} THEY CAME IN DROVES AND TROUSERS,
} THEY CAME IN PICK-UP TRUCKS!
} THEY CAME FROM EVERYWHERE
} AND THEY TRAMPLED ON THE DUCKS!
}
} THEY CAME WITH NARY WARNING,
} THEY CAME WITH MURD'ROUS SPITE,
} THEY CAME TO POUND OUR TOWN TO DUST
} THAT HIDEOUS "EGGPLANT NIGHT."
}
} WE LAY SLEEPING ON OUR RUSTY BEDS
} TUCKED IN LIKE ALBACORE,
} THE CHILDREN HUGGED THEIR HORNETS NESTS
} AND DREAMED OF DINAH SHORE.
}
} THE POUNDING! POUNDING! IT BEGAN,
} DOWN BY THE WATERY DOCKS!
} AND MEN GREW ILL, AND ALL STOOD STILL
} THE TOWER'S ANCIENT CLOCKS!
}
} "GEE WHIZ!" WE SHRIEKED IN FEAR AND HATE
} AS EGGPLANTS CAME ON LAND,
} "LOOKIE!" CRIED THE BRAVER SOULS
} SOON SMASHED UPON THE SAND.
}
} THE EGGPLANTS ATE THE STREETS AND STORES,
} THEY ATE UP CITY HALL -
} THEY ATE AND ATE (THEY BURPED) AND OH,
} THE HORROR OF IT ALL!
}
} BRAVE ANNIE GOT HER GUN OF COURSE,
} AND DUMBO TOOK TO AIR -
} BUT NOT UNTIL GREAT *GECKO* CAME
} COULD WE THE EGGPLANTS SCARE!
}
} GREAT GECKO! HE WHO KNOWS NO GOOD
} BUT KILLS WITH WANTON GLEE!
} SOME SAID "OH GREAT, SURE, *THIS* WILL HELP"
} THE REST, JUST "GOLLY GEE!"
}
} GECKO STOOD FULL NINE LEAGUES TALL
} WITH LEGS LIKE MIGHTY WILLOWS -
} HIS PANT LEGS ARE NINE SIZES LARGE
} AND THE WIND BETWEEN THEM BILLOWS.
}
} WITH A MIGHTY RUSH HE GRASPED A 'PLANT
} AND MASHED IT IN HIS JAWS.
} IT SCREAMED AND CRIED! AT LAST IT DIED,
} BUT GECKO DID NOT PAUSE!
}
} WITH SWEEPING HAND HE SCOURED THE LAND
} ALL NIGHT, ALL WEEK, ALL YEAR!
} UNTIL, AT LAST, HE BURST, AND PAST
} BEYOND ALL EGGPLANT-FEAR.
}
} BY THEN JUST EIGHT OR NINE OR TEN
} BLUE DEATH FRUIT LAY ABOUT -
} WE FOUND THEM, STAMPED THEM INTO MUSH
} AND BEGAN TO SING AND SHOUT!
}
} FOR THOUGH THEY CAME AND TERRIFIED
} OUR HUMBLE LITTLE TOWN,
} NOTHING STOPS COURAGEOUS FOLK
} WHEN ALL THE CHIPS ARE DOWN.
}
} FOR WE CAN CONQUER ANY FOE
} WHEREVER THEY MIGHT LURK
} SO LONG AS WE HAVE BIG DUMB GUYS
} LIKE GECKO DO THE WORK.
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