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} Permit me to suggest that your manifest talent is wasted in a field as
} restrictive and dogmatic as math when you have the makings of a top
} management guru. Your main difficulty is to make the transition
} between two such different fields. Fortunately, there is a discipline
} (sic) available in all self-respecting modern universtities which not
} only overlaps both Math and Management, but has the advantage that
} success in it requires neither the personal contacts of the first nor
} the rigor of the second. I refer, of course, to economics.
}
} Your first step is to enroll yourself to the Economics faculty. This
} needs some care; you won't have any trouble from the lecturers and
} professors - no-one working in a field which invented "seasonal
} adjustments" and "invisible imports" is going to blink at the sudden
} appearance of a new masters candidate - but the administrators are
} another matter. Best do it out of normal hours; Feynman has some
} useful hints.
}
} Now, your economics thesis. Your incomplete math one will serve nicely
} as a start, but you'll have to do something about those equations.
} It's not that they're wrong (they are but don't worry about that just
} now), it's just that there are too many of them. Economists don't like
} equations, they prefer human interest stories, though naturally they
} don't call them anything so understandable. You're a little short of
} time for a full-scale investigation, but fortunately a "small-scale
} survey" supplemented by "anecdotal evidence" will do just as well.
} Intersperse these with the more impressive of the equations from your
} math thesis, and include it, unedited, as an appendix. Make sure you
} identify it as "work in progress" (in small print) to explain its
} incompleteness to anyone who notices. Finally, you need a better title
} that intrigues without actually being innaccurate, something like
} "2+2=5? Possible effects of a new paradigm in an academic
} environment."
}
} The audacity of your central premise will guarantee success -
} economists are fashion junkies, sorry, they "place a high marginal
} value on novelty", and you'll be asked to join the faculty. Agree, but
} but *only on a part-time basis*, because you will need time to oversee
} your new economics/management consultancy company (which will
} conversely, of course, gain credibility from your position on the
} economics faculty). You will have little difficulty acquiring and
} satisfying clients - business is always on the lookout for someone
} with an air of authority and independence to reassure them that what
} they've already decided is the Right Way, and the management
} consultancy industry exists to service this need.
}
} Only one thing is now needed to achive guru-hood in your new
} profession: the best-selling book. Dust down that old thesis again,
} and rewrite it in a popular style. It's not difficult; cut out all the
} remaining equations, add the amusing tales you've heard when
} consulting (the corporations can't be identified, of course, but your
} author profile will mention who you've been "advising", and everyone
} will have fun trying to match the stories to the companies), simplify
} and exagerate the human interest, *make it sound as if it's something
} the person in the office cube needs to know*. Most important, give it
} a snappy title covering contemporary concerns, eg, "2+2=5! How to
} Succeed in the New Millenium!"
}
} From now on, your main concern will be which requests and offers to
} turn down. Lecture tours are OK, honorary professorships do no harm
} but visiting ones, being paid, are better. You don't advise
} corporations any longer, but you may be prepared to consider leading
} seminars for their top management. Instant opinions for the media: CNN
} is OK, Playboy Channel isn't (sorry about that). You can afford to be
} consulted by a few presidents and prime ministers - think of it as a
} loss leader.
}
} Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to become involved with the
} World Bank or even worse with the Federal Reserve Board. No-one likes
} accountants.
}
} You owe the Oracle 20% of the gross as creative consultant, and
} another 20% as agent, let me see, by your reckoning that makes 50%.
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