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} [The scene: The Oracular throne room. The Internet Oracle sits,
} typing away at a keyboard, bathed in the green glow of a monochrome
} CRT.]
}
} ORACLE: Hmm... This is a good one... Well, Supplicant,
}
} [A referee's whistle sounds. Fade out and into:]
}
} [theme music]
}
} PERKY-ANNOUNCER-GIRL: Buy FlasGo, the cola that'll make you look like
} me!
}
} [fade back out, and into the Oracular chamber]
}
} ORACLE: the main problem
}
} [referee's whistle. Fade out and into:]
}
} [Different theme music]
}
} MACHO-SPOKESMAN-GUY: For a long hard day of workin' on the farm, you
} need a REAL truck. Which is why I don't drive a Geo.
}
} ANNOUNCER: Friends don't let friends drive cars made out of Tupperware
} (tm).
}
} [fade back out, and into the Oracular chamber]
}
} ORACLE: is the
}
} [Whistle. Fade out and into:]
}
} [more theme music]
}
} [Pictures of gen-x kids doing positively obscene things for a simple
} bottle of soda that they can buy at any convenience store for $1.19]
}
} VOICEOVER ANNOUNCER: Amazing what advertisers think you'll fall for,
} no? Drink Splurge.
}
} [Fade out and into the Oraclular chamber]
}
} ORACLE: %&@#$ advertisers!
}
} You owe the Oracle tickets to the next Major League Soccer championship
} game. Real football for real people.
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
