} (We see Zadoc, whistling and walking down a tropical path, as the last
} of the credits roll.)
} Directed by: The Internet Oracle
} Gaffer: What's a gaffer?
} Special Guest Star: Jean-Paul Sartre
}
} Cut to the Gate's hut, complete with two door bamboo garage.
} Zadoc: Hi Mr. Gates.
} Gates: Howell, my boy, call me Mr. Howell. Especially if anyone from
} the IRS happens to ask. (laugh track) How are you my boy, did
} you bring my golf bag?
} Zadoc: Oh, sure Mr. Howell. Boy, I sure do have a lot of work to do.
} Gates: Zadoc, my boy, you must work smart, not hard! Why, my coconut
} 3.1 will do half your work for you!
} Zadoc: Really, Mr. Howell? Oh, wow, I wish I had a coconut 3 point
} thing, I really do.
} Gates: I tell you what, If you'll do half my work, I'll give it to
} you.
} Zadoc: Oh, wow, thanks Mr. Howell! (takes coconut. Looks at it,
} shakes it.) Uh, It's not working, Mr. Howell.
} Gates: Really? Well, half of my chores are done, so it worked for me.
} (laugh track) But you can't worry about that now, Zadoc,
} you've got work to do! Off you go!
} Zadoc: But, butbut, but... Oh gee, I gotta go. (laugh track)
}
} Cut to the professor and Ginger, at the observation post.
} Ginger: Look, Professor! A banana!
} Prof: No, Ginger, I'm just happy to see you. But look, out there!
} It's a boat! It's coming towards shore!
} (A wet man in one of those funny french hats walks into camera view)
} Prof: Why, it's Jean-Paul Sartre, founder of the existentialism move-
} ment. It's a good thing I speak french. Bon jour, je
} m'appelle Proffeseur.
} Jean: Uh, what? Make sense, you pompous ass.
} Prof: Oh, certainly. We are very glad to see you. We seem to be
} stuck on this island, and would be very glad if you could give
} us a ride to the nearest port.
} Jean: Oh, man, my agent is SO fired. Who is this lovely young thing
} your with?
} Ginger: Oh, hi, I'm Ging-
} Jean: Ginger! Oh man, I'm a huge fan. Oh wow, you were in "The Loin
} King"! Remember that scene where-
} Ginger: YES! Yes, I'm always glad to meet a fan. Hey, can you get us
} off this island, you handsome man?
} Jean: What, now? I just got here. I wanna rest a little. Unless
} you want to...
} Ginger: Let's introduce him to the others, Professor.
}
} Cut to hut interior, with Oracle swinging in the hammock. Lisa Ann
} runs in, closely followed by Zadoc.
} Oracle: Lisa, my love, I've been- oh. Hi Zadoc.
} Zadoc: Oh come on, Lisa Ann, this coconut will do half your work. Hi
} Skipper.
} Lisa: Look, Zadoc, I've already got two coconuts, and I don't need
} another one.
} Oracle: Tell you what, Zadoc, I'll sell you my coconut 95. It'll do
} three quarters of your work. All you have to do is all my work.
} (Ginger, the Professor, and Jean-Paul enter.)
} Ginger: Look everyone-
} Oracle, Zadoc, and Professor: Ooooh. Aaaah.
} Ginger: No, look, this is Jean-Paul, and he has a bout that can take us
} home.
} Lisa: YAY!
} Zadoc: YAY!
} Oracle: boo.
} Zadoc: I'll go get Mr. and Ms. Howell (exits)
} Prof: What do you mean boo?
} Oracle: Why would I want to leave? I haven't had this long a vacation
} since the mail server blew up. (polishing his staff) Power
} surges do funny things.
} Lisa: Well, I for one am dying to get off this island. It's awful
} here. It's like we're stuck in an empty room for eternity,
} constantly torturing each other.
} Jean: Uh, excuse me, I'll be right back.
} Prof: I don't think it's really that bad. Of course a small peer
} group like this is going to have a lot of friction, but-
} Zadoc: I'm back with the Howells. Hey, where's Jean-Paul?
} Oracle: DOH!
}
} Cut to cast, sitting around radio.
} Lisa (to Zadoc) :I can't believe he left without us, and based his
} play on our plight.
} Zadoc (to Professor) :I can't believe you can't fix a stupid hole in a
} boat.
} Professor (to Ginger):I can't believe that Star Trek: Voyager stole our
} premise.
} Oracle(to supplicant):I can't believe you made me do this stupid
} parody.
}
} You owe the Oracle another week on the island. I've almost got Lisa
} to agree to help Ginger reproduce that scene in 'Humpback of Nota Dame'
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