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} Dear Sirs: I find that I am somehow called upon to recommend
} ________________ for your fine and very respectable graduate school in
} the discipline of Computer Science. Fortunately, I can do so with a
} clear consceince. I have known the kid for several years, and followed
} his academic career with an interested eye. I am sure that he has
} consistantly been in the top 99% of every class he has taken -- often in
} the top 90% or even 80% -- and always does splendidly in whatever field
} he happens to be interested in in a given week. His genius, although
} well-hidden, is apparent when he somehow manages to display it.
}
} His personal record is virtually flawless. His academic integrity is of
} the highest order: his plagarism is so subtle that not even the
} original authors can detect it. He has never been convicted of
} possession of illegal or controlled substances, arson, or blackmail,
} despite any rumors to the contrary you may have heard. His threats
} against faculty members who offend him, although often severe, are rare
} if ever carried out. There is absolutely no proof that he is a member
} of any terrorist organization or the Reformed Church of Satan. The fact
} that he is somewhat of a long-haired leftist-socialist wierdo freak is
} no reason to refuse him admittance to your program. Please be merciful;
} the kid has to do something for the rest of his life, and I personally
} would feel a lot more comfortable if he were slaving away over a hot
} terminal than out on the streets commiting felonies.
}
} As a close to this letter, be aware that I am writing it at a personal
} request of ___________, and not under the influence of either threats or
} bribes.
}
} Sincerely,
}
} The Usenet Oracle
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